No sleep, nothing in between me and the rain and you can't save me now.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Went to yoga yesterday. Erin teaches on Tuesdays. And MAN did she kick my butt. i think I spent 90% of the class in downward dog doing random other things at the same time so my shoulders are like "hey! hey Erin! We dont like you!" I've made friends with 2 of the guys that go to my classes, it figures that I would reach out to the men. lol Bob is super nice though and my past to classes he's spotted me while I attempted to get into my headstand against the wall... and the past 2 days I've done it.... so yay!
I was very angry yesterday... angry at Dan, angry at work, and I think somewhere in there I must have been angry at me...
My teachers like to remind us when we find something we don't like about other people it's often because it's a reflection of ourselves. So I've been trying to find what that is and deal with it. But I dont know...
--break for long personal rant--
Dan is angry, it's like he took my old persona, he was better last night so Im hoping thats over. But I feel like my stamp book is maxing out (you know, each time you get a little mad it's a stamp and eventually the book is full and you explode)... so I need to find a way to talk to him about it. I feel kind of smothered and that he's controlling me a little bit. When I talk to him I feel like Im always wrong. The other day he said that he knows I dont like being a grown up (lol I hate it!) but he needs me to be because he cant do it all himself... and I just looked at him and thought wtf? What dont I help with? Sure the house is a little messy but Im the one who goes to the bank, goes grocery shopping, takes care of the bills, cooks dinner, drops off his dry cleaning and picks it up, call people to take care of things like appointments, broken snowblowers, broken computers, anything that involves calling people... what am I not doing?
And maybe he just says these things... and I dont want to be angry because it's so draining... but I think I need to have a chat with him.
I thought I was going to miss yoga yesterday because I had to pull apart a machine at 3pm. I started it at 3 and it was just basic, it shouldnt take more than an hour but then we got really busy, I had to help some customers and before I knew it, it was 5 to 4 and I wasn't even 1/3 done. So I got really angry. Just raging angry. So after I got to a certain point I just left it. Im not sure if I'll get yelled at today but why am I the only one that knows how to take apart the machine? Jeeze.
oy. gotta go call National Grid... looks like the wind loosened up a line outside of our house and it's kinda just dangling in our tree =-X
Hope everyone has a great day, gotta get to yoga!
Om Om Om