Saturday, January 14, 2012
Weekends are where we get the "end of the week" exam. Will you pass? I almost gave in to the temptation of buying Klondike bars during my Fri nite grocery run, and believing I was strong enough to eat just one. I have believed that before and consumed all of them by Monday. But I don't want to restrict myself totally, and then perhaps becoming deprived and succumbing in weakness one day with a binge. So, I got a box of Lugi lemon ice/strawberry ice (cups). They are not as tempting as the chocolate. I gave myself the exam of allowing myself a small indulgence with self control. If I can have these around and not over do it~~ If I pass this type of exam for a few weekends, then, and only then will I put myself thru the real hard test. I may never be able to have Klondike bars in my freezer over a weekend, but I will know for sure...and accept it if it is so. I know myself well enough and know I listened to that lie (then bought the bars, ate them all weekend, and felt terrible about myself!) I will do what i have to do to resist all temptations, small and large, and live the lifestyle of healthy, balanced eating.
It sounds silly to me, in a way to say these things. Many people would say, my gosh, it is only food!! What is the big deal? But it is a stonghold that has overpowered me time and time again all my life. When emotions stir and make me sad, food makes it all better for the moment. That is the sad truth, but as with any problem, or addiction, or stronghold, the number 1 step is acceptance and identification of the problem, and then strategically releasing it's grip on you and your grip on it. Sometimes we just do not want to let go. I read once about people who stay in bad relationships too long or similar ruts. One reason why, is because ruts are comfortable and natural feeling. Getting out of the rut feels abnormal, scary and uncomfortable, but it is necessary to overcome the problem.