Nope, I didn't write anything yesterday. I'd planned to...just like I'd planned to drink my 12th consecutive wintertime green smoothie. And after a perfectly lovely day up in Park City with my perfectly lovely friend Jeanette, where we dropped off my 3 large boxes of accumulated glass containers at the recycling center and then window shopped along Main St. before eating lunch at Flanagan's Bar & Grill, I was going to both drink and write.
Flanagan's menu is filled with goodness and it was hard to decide what to get...which ended up being the lamb burger with sweet potato fries. The fries were maybe the most perfect I've ever eaten. And the burger was 1/3 lb. local, grass-fed lamb topped with goat's cheese (one of my fave cheeses), grilled onions, Dijon mustard, and fresh baby spinach leaves, all on a fresh-baked multigrain kaiser roll. Absolutely delish...and majorly healthful...and insanely filling!!! I'd only eaten a piece of toast with a slice of cheese for breakfast so I was sure to have room for whatever tasty lunch we had, with so many good restaurants in Park City...but I could barely finish the burger, almost but didn't finish the fries, and had a helluva a time walking (literally) UP Main St. back to the car...LOL. And when I got home, I didn't even want to think about or look at any food let alone eat/drink any. So I gave it a couple hours...then a couple more...thinking I'd be able to at least drink a small green smoothie sometime before bed. But nope.
I still could've written something yesterday even without a smoothie to report...although the smoothie chronicling is the main reason for these entries, I could've at least written the stuff above yesterday instead of today. But when I got home from Park City, I got on the computer to do some work and checked my email...and found yet another job application rejection. Unless you know me well, you don't know that I got laid off from my job of 18 years...6 years ago now. And have yet to find another full-time permanent job in all this time. Not in my previous industry...or doing my previous job/tasks in any similar industry...or even flipping burgers (lamb or otherwise). And don't ask how many I've applied for in 6 years...every time I send out my resume for a job, I'm waiting for the universe to explode for all the resumes I've sent out into it in these years. So I've gotten the "thanks but no thanks" replies plenty of times before (whether it's come just after submitting the basic application, or after the rare phone interview, or after the even rarer personal interview)...and that's long since begun to take its toll on my emotions, self-confidence, stress, etc. But yesterday's rejection was particularly painful and confusing and depressing. And shocking.
It came from a company I'd worked at about 3 years ago on a contract basis. What was supposed to be a short, 3-4 month contract to help them out turned into a stay of over a year...and they loved me and my work so much, they were in the process of getting me hired as a regular, full-time employee when the company initiated a hiring freeze, which also included letting go all contract and part-time employees. So that not only killed my chance of becoming a regular employee but also killed my contract there, and it was back to searching for any work at all. Before and since then (and even while working there) I've been doing freelance work, sometimes as my only source of income...but the problem with freelance is I never know what work will come my way, when it'll come, how much work or money it'll bring in, etc.
Well, last week, in my continuing job hunt, I saw a posting at that company for the exact position/work I was doing for them when they had to let me go 3 years ago...this is the full-time job I would've had if the hiring freeze hadn't happened. So I jumped at the application...how could they hire anyone else over me when I'd worked there for over a year in the exact position? I know the company, I "fit in" and worked well with my coworkers, and I know the job (tasks, responsibilities, software tools, processes, etc.) and so I'd have no "learning curve" and they'd have no training to do and could be sure I'd "work out" in the position...and it was a job they were going to give me on a permanent basis before.
Only a couple days after submitting my application online, I got a request to do a phone interview, which I did a couple days later...but it was with an HR person and not the hiring manager. She was nice but was robotic, simply reading through a script of questions and only responding with "OK" after each of my responses. But I was still confident that I'd be moved on to the next phase, which was likely interviewing with the hiring manager or other person in the actual department the job is in. But no. Yesterday I simply got an email from the HR person I'd talked with saying, "Thank you for your interest in the Editor position and for taking the time to interview. We have interviewed a high number of qualified candidates and our decision was very difficult. Regretfully, after careful consideration, you were not selected as a final candidate for this position."
Hello?!?! There may be "a number of qualified candidates," but none as qualified as me, who's done this job for you before! On what planet could this decision have been "very difficult" for you?!?! You're not even going to move me to the final round of consideration?!?! Un-be-liev-a-ble.
I was rather flabbergast and speechless yesterday, so I wasn't in the mood to write at all. Today I'm still flabbergast but obviously no longer speechless.
So, there you have it: why I didn't drink a green smoothie or write an entry yesterday. Not that you asked... :-)
But the first thing I did this morning was make a green smoothie...the 2-1/2 cups today contained the following: 1/2 C almond milk (unsweetened), 1/4 carrot juice, 1/8 C Green Goodness, 1/2 med. fresh apple, 1/2 fresh kiwi, 1/2 med. frozen banana, 2 heaping Tbsp. frozen blueberries, 1 tsp. agave, filtered water to thin.