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Motivation, Tomorrow's Triathlon & Shirts

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Thursday, January 12, 2012

It is bad enough that I am doing a sprint triathlon at the gym tomorrow and harassing others to join me, but I had signed up for a yoga class with a friend prior to that proclamation, so now she insists I hurry up and finish so we can make it to our 11:30 yoga class. Insult, meet injury.

For those who are wondering, join us, do 1, 2 or 3 legs of the sprint tri, at home or at the gym or upsidedown on the moon.

You can chose from:
750 meters in the pool
20 kilometers on the bike
5 kilometers walk or run

Anyway, for the benefit of those who yoga in New Albany, Ohio, I have acquired Beano. May they never know that they should thank me for that kindness or that people (Cheffrey) are considering calling me Captain Fartypants.

Yoga class means that means I'm getting up early--on a day off--to go to the gym and hurry through a sprint triathlon so I can go do an exercise class. I'm suspecting that I've sustained a traumatic brain injury and no one bothered to tell me. This is level 5 fulminant mind-has-been-lost-call-for-th
e-funny-white-coat stuff.

I better lose weight this week or whoever dreamed up triathlons is in deep doodoo.

The upside is that I have been promised lunch at my favorite vegan joint if I hurry my butt up in time for yoga. That, my friends, is some serious motivation. Do triathlon, get vegan "chicken" nuggets and "pepper steak." Seems fair to me.

In other motivational news, my mom managed to figure out how to get Cheffrey to start taking weight loss seriously. Seriously. My Mom. Who knew?

She could write a lovely book with only one chapter, and it could sell bazillions of copies, and it would be called, "How To Encourage Your Loved Ones To Get Healthy With Well-Chosen Christmas Presents."

She got us packages for the Mario Andretti Driving Experience! WOOT WOOT WOOT! Basically, she gifted us with Indy car racing lessons, followed by driving Indy cars at high speed, followed by riding in an Indy car with a professional driver at full performance speeds at the Atlanta Motor Speedway.

Yes, my mother is a goddess. For a variety of reasons--which happen to include Indy car driving Christmas presents--that I won't bore you with today.

Cheffrey would tell you that a person who purchases vehicles based on whether or not they have Bose or an equivalently awesome booming sound system and how fast you can blow through turns may not need such lessons, (who on earth might he be talking about???) but I believe that is not the case. *looking innocent*

Anywho, Indy cars have a weight limit, or, more specifically, a girth limit that is enforced with a weight limit. We are both currently over this limit, and Cheffrey is now extremely motivated to lose enough weight to squish himself into an Indy car. Lose weight, get healthier, drive very fast, have healthier husband. Win, win, win and win.

His ticket to driving school may be the best Christmas present I received, more so than my own ticket to driving school, because it is really hard to work at getting healthy while the person you love the most is headed for an early grave.


Since the sprint triathlon is going to a be regular occurance in my world, (I'm aiming for monthly, and maybe even moving outdoors at some point) it only seems right to ponder starting a team, making custom tshirts (Blame SOUTHPONDCAMP for the tshirt business) and that sort of thing. Not that I'm actually going to start a team or design tshirts, I'm just going to talk about it.

I figure that if I'm going to go through the joy that is completing a tri (sarcasm font), then I deserve a tshirt, even if it is a tri of my own devising and indoors. I refuse to do 5ks that don't offer shirts, because there is no other good reason to do a 5k other than the crappy shirt, right? Same principal applies here. I do it for the stupid shirt that rarely fits well. The weightloss, pride I feel and amazing feeling of accomplishment is just a bonus.

I suppose we should come up with a name for the 2012 triathlon series, but I've totally bypassed that and headed right into fun and witty slogans. Or at least I've been attempting to find fun and witty slogans, I don't feel that I've been tremendously successful.

After much googling, I've come up with some slogans that might work:
**Swimming and Biking and Running, Oh My! (I happen to like Wizard of Oz references, so this is my contribution)
**Dare to Tri!
**Pain Heals, chicks dig scars, but glory lasts forever. (stolen movie quote uttered by Keanu Reaves in The Replacements)
**We did a tri and we didn't die!
**Pool, Bike, Treadmill--2012 Indoor Sprint Triathlon Series
**Triathlon: Where your competitive juices overcome your excuses
**Challenge accepted, triathlon completed
**Tri this on for size
**Runs on clean energy--burned fat!
**You never know until you Tri
**Triathlon. If it were easy they would call it a couchathlon. (That was me, I admit it, I came up with that)
**Pain is temporary, pride is forever
**I did a triathlon do get this freaking shirt (me)
**how about a chubby girl emoticon followed by an arrow that says triathlon pointing at a thinner girl icon?

What I learned from this is that I'm not very good at this slogan stuff and that advertising people really earn their money doing it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I still want to make a shirt for a race that says "I *AM* running!" -- cuz I'm so slowwww. I love your ideas. I found out today that the gym floor is being redone so the "fitness" gym - aka WHERE ALL THE FREAKING MACHINES ARE - is closed through Saturday. Silly YMCA. I could make excuses. Actually, I did make excuses. But, I have an 18mile mountain bike excursion planned for Saturday, and I'm going to push myself to also walk or run or wog or waddle a 5k as well. Thank you for holding me accountable, whether you meant to or not! Gotta get my miles in...

    I really don't know who came up with this 2012 miles challenge, but I think she should be shot.
    2260 days ago
    Ah, unfortunately I don't get off work early enough to do this on Friday, but I will do at least the 5K part of it on Saturday! Maybe I'll try the bike too, but I'm not sure that I should start with a 20K before ever doing anything on that. That's what, 13 miles? We'll see. As for the swimming, that's probably not going to happen. I admire you, but there's no way the people at my gym are going to see me in a bathing suit. Plus, I'm not sure I swim that well and there's no lifeguard! ;)
    2260 days ago
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