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Motivation, Tomorrow's Triathlon & Shirts

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Thursday, January 12, 2012

It is bad enough that I am doing a sprint triathlon at the gym tomorrow and harassing others to join me, but I had signed up for a yoga class with a friend prior to that proclamation, so now she insists I hurry up and finish so we can make it to our 11:30 yoga class. Insult, meet injury.

For those who are wondering, join us, do 1, 2 or 3 legs of the sprint tri, at home or at the gym or upsidedown on the moon.

You can chose from:
750 meters in the pool
20 kilometers on the bike
5 kilometers walk or run

Anyway, for the benefit of those who yoga in New Albany, Ohio, I have acquired Beano. May they never know that they should thank me for that kindness or that people (Cheffrey) are considering calling me Captain Fartypants.

Yoga class means that means I'm getting up early--on a day off--to go to the gym and hurry through a sprint triathlon so I can go do an exercise class. I'm suspecting that I've sustained a traumatic brain injury and no one bothered to tell me. This is level 5 fulminant mind-has-been-lost-call-for-th
e-funny-white-coat stuff.

I better lose weight this week or whoever dreamed up triathlons is in deep doodoo.

The upside is that I have been promised lunch at my favorite vegan joint if I hurry my butt up in time for yoga. That, my friends, is some serious motivation. Do triathlon, get vegan "chicken" nuggets and "pepper steak." Seems fair to me.

In other motivational news, my mom managed to figure out how to get Cheffrey to start taking weight loss seriously. Seriously. My Mom. Who knew?

She could write a lovely book with only one chapter, and it could sell bazillions of copies, and it would be called, "How To Encourage Your Loved Ones To Get Healthy With Well-Chosen Christmas Presents."

She got us packages for the Mario Andretti Driving Experience! WOOT WOOT WOOT! Basically, she gifted us with Indy car racing lessons, followed by driving Indy cars at high speed, followed by riding in an Indy car with a professional driver at full performance speeds at the Atlanta Motor Speedway.

Yes, my mother is a goddess. For a variety of reasons--which happen to include Indy car driving Christmas presents--that I won't bore you with today.

Cheffrey would tell you that a person who purchases vehicles based on whether or not they have Bose or an equivalently awesome booming sound system and how fast you can blow through turns may not need such lessons, (who on earth might he be talking about???) but I believe that is not the case. *looking innocent*

Anywho, Indy cars have a weight limit, or, more specifically, a girth limit that is enforced with a weight limit. We are both currently over this limit, and Cheffrey is now extremely motivated to lose enough weight to squish himself into an Indy car. Lose weight, get healthier, drive very fast, have healthier husband. Win, win, win and win.

His ticket to driving school may be the best Christmas present I received, more so than my own ticket to driving school, because it is really hard to work at getting healthy while the person you love the most is headed for an early grave.


Since the sprint triathlon is going to a be regular occurance in my world, (I'm aiming for monthly, and maybe even moving outdoors at some point) it only seems right to ponder starting a team, making custom tshirts (Blame SOUTHPONDCAMP for the tshirt business) and that sort of thing. Not that I'm actually going to start a team or design tshirts, I'm just going to talk about it.

I figure that if I'm going to go through the joy that is completing a tri (sarcasm font), then I deserve a tshirt, even if it is a tri of my own devising and indoors. I refuse to do 5ks that don't offer shirts, because there is no other good reason to do a 5k other than the crappy shirt, right? Same principal applies here. I do it for the stupid shirt that rarely fits well. The weightloss, pride I feel and amazing feeling of accomplishment is just a bonus.

I suppose we should come up with a name for the 2012 triathlon series, but I've totally bypassed that and headed right into fun and witty slogans. Or at least I've been attempting to find fun and witty slogans, I don't feel that I've been tremendously successful.

After much googling, I've come up with some slogans that might work:
**Swimming and Biking and Running, Oh My! (I happen to like Wizard of Oz references, so this is my contribution)
**Dare to Tri!
**Pain Heals, chicks dig scars, but glory lasts forever. (stolen movie quote uttered by Keanu Reaves in The Replacements)
**We did a tri and we didn't die!
**Pool, Bike, Treadmill--2012 Indoor Sprint Triathlon Series
**Triathlon: Where your competitive juices overcome your excuses
**Challenge accepted, triathlon completed
**Tri this on for size
**Runs on clean energy--burned fat!
**You never know until you Tri
**Triathlon. If it were easy they would call it a couchathlon. (That was me, I admit it, I came up with that)
**Pain is temporary, pride is forever
**I did a triathlon do get this freaking shirt (me)
**how about a chubby girl emoticon followed by an arrow that says triathlon pointing at a thinner girl icon?

What I learned from this is that I'm not very good at this slogan stuff and that advertising people really earn their money doing it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KSJD711
    Just a thought "Tri and Whine". Or there is a great one already out there, that shows a stick figure drowning, a stick figure crashing on the bike and a stick figure puking while running. I love that shirt. I want one.
    2175 days ago
    2189 days ago
    I vote 4 "we did a tri and we didn't die". And I'm sad to say I only did the biking leg...I didn't chicken out...just forgot that I had to go out of town for a 4 day swim meet...It was ridicuously long each day. But I'd love to join you next month. Can we set a date now, so I can put it on my calendar? emoticon
    2193 days ago
    Tri'd it - Got the shirt!

    You are awesome!!!

    Congrats on getting your hubby on board. That will be a huge help emoticon
    2194 days ago
    Well now that you mention t-shirts, I may have to do this next month! I missed this blog earlier.
    Congrats on finishing your first of many!!
    2196 days ago
    Can I come play too sometime? *hopehopehope*
    2197 days ago
    Your mom is BRILLIANT!
    2197 days ago
    You keep on going girlie!! Not only have I lost a few ounces in deep belly laughs, but I love the slogan - I need a Tshirt that says something along the lines of "I'm only doing it to prove I'm not a Groom's fat Mum - but a Groom's thin one" yep getting seriously thin for the sons wedding - proof that once upon a time I was a size 10 - only this time I'm only aiming for a 12 (UK sizes these!!) Now if only I could just "lose" my bum, tum and boobs I would almost be there! ROFL!!!
    2199 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    I believe in you BOTH!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2200 days ago
    Awesome!!!!! Go for it! I seriously get quite a bit of exercise laughing at your clever and very witty blogs!! Thank you!

    emoticon emoticon
    2200 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/13/2012 1:12:15 AM
    I match your 20k bike and add a few miles on for our peeps! 8mile run woot! We are machines!

    Here some on the fly

    Tri it
    Fat girls Tri

    Well I don't shrink from the f word and I think its cheeky! ;)
    2200 days ago
    You make me laugh every time I read one of your blogs. Good luck with the Triathlon. I know you'll do great!
    2200 days ago
  • SHEL1181
    Good luck!!!! You will be amazing I'm sure. The fact that you take beano before yoga makes me laugh because I have a girlfriend who farts routinely during yoga class. So funny!
    2201 days ago
    Your mother is seriously awesome! And you came up with much better slogans than I ever could, so don't dismiss your slogan-writing talent. Have *fun* tomorrow!
    2201 days ago
  • JEREMY723
    I'll be doing at least 5k outside unless there more than couple of inches of snow. Then I'll do 5k on the treadmill but the dreadmill is a real struggle for me....
    2201 days ago
    What are you talking about? I LOVE the majority of those slogans. Super fun. Slogans are my thing. I've always thought I would like marketing for that one sole purpose of coming up with slogans. My favs are "Swimming and Biking and Running - Oh My!", "Your Never Know Until You Tri" and the simplest "Pool, Bike, Treadmill--2012 Indoor Sprint Triathlon Series" - you always have to have one that just says what it means :) have fun tomorrow!
    2201 days ago
    I actually loved all your slogans lol I thought you were pretty good lol! I love reading your blogs.. they always let me know that I'm not the only "crazy" around here = ) good luck with your triatha whatever it is.. I don't remember cause that's my brain.. but I give you tons of credit.. cause it all just sounds SCARY to me!
    2201 days ago
  • -LINDA_S
    I would love to attempt to join you, but unless my hike today counts, I'm afraid I'm too injured. There's a bottom-of-toe blister and a bad ankle-rub because I was too STUPID to wear long socks with my hiking boots. But I logged over 5 miles up and down hills and over tree roots, so that should count for something. Good luck!
    2201 days ago
  • HOPE2011
    Okay, I've been hemming and hawing about this - I only have the walk available to me, and I will join you in doing the 5K on Friday!

    Secondly - I LOVE MARIO ANDRETTI! You guys are so lucky and awesome - you will definitely have to tell us all about it when you do it!

    2201 days ago
    What a clever mother you have there!!Not only is her gift motivating but it is way cool!! Who wouldn't want to drive a race car?? I mean, really??
    And, personally, I like the Wizard of Oz reference, too.
    2201 days ago
    I'm in this weekend for the 5K walk/run.

    T-Shirt design:

    How about a larger-sized figure shape with "Try" above it and an in-shape figure with "Tri" above that?

    2201 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    It makes me a wee bit nutty when people say they will "try" as in "I will try to lose weight" "I will try to exercise" so, here is my annoyed/annoying slogan - "don't try- TRI!"
    Your mother is amazing, and, because I have never hid the fact that I have a bit of a crush on your husband (being a grandmother allows me to say things like this), I, too, am very happy that he is on the road to better health (see what I did there?) emoticon emoticon
    2201 days ago
    I love "we did a tri and didn't die!"

    I think I'll be saying that tomorrow, provided I don't drown in the pool. 750M at the Y is 30 laps. I did more than 30 laps last night during swimming lessons. The question is, can I do that after a 5K and 20K.

    I also like the idea of doing this once per month.

    SP needs to add an emoticon for "What is wrong with me?" The wide-eyed look on this one evokes more "what have I gotten myself into?", which will also do. LOL emoticon
    2201 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/12/2012 4:12:00 PM
    Brilliant! I love your slogans, especially the 'pain is temporary, pride is forever' and 'you never know until you tri' (do you pronounce 'tri' as you would 'try'?).
    Way to go!
    2201 days ago
    Your mom is brilliant! I can't even try to imagine a better way to motivate someone to lose weight. Definitely beats repeated nagging :). Good luck with the triathlon. emoticon
    2201 days ago
    Oh Jenn, how I have missed you. You were my very first Spark friend so Spark just wasn't the same in December. I have laughed my head off in this last post! Good luck with your tri- you'll do great! Have fun with Yoga and your vegan resteraunt!
    2201 days ago
    okay seriously if you came up with those slogans... YOU ROCK!!! Those are awesome and I'd be proud to slap them on any T-Shirt!

    Your mom also ROCKS by the way. What a super gift! My mom kinda did the same thing in a way. She got my husband an annual membership to the Rod & Gun Club in the next town over, so OMG my computer geek husband will actually have to go out and meet people to get in his shooting fun! Because even though we basically live in the country you can't actually go anywhere to shoot that isn't private or BLM land. Which is a big ol NO NO. So he even went to their annual meeting this week AND signed up for volunteer work there. Praise be to the Moms!

    Have fun with your Tri and your Yoga and your Vegan treat.
    2201 days ago
    LOVE "Triathlon. If it were easy they would call it a couchathlon".
    2201 days ago
    Keep it up and you and Cheffrey will be at the driving school very soon. Great gift from your mum. Will be thinking of you tomorrow as I strength train and do cardio.

    2201 days ago
  • MARYMO22
    I'll join in tomorrow - can't do the swim as no pool at my gym, but will aim for 5k run.... will see if there's any time left for a cycle
    2201 days ago
    You are so funny & awesome! Keep up the great work!

    Thank you for all the rock!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2201 days ago
    Here are a couple more options for the first line.... (thanks to google...)

    Swim, bike, run, drink... (excellent...)

    How about a different kind of threesome? (less family oriented)

    Swim like you're going to drown, ride like you stole it, and run like they are chasing you... (too long)

    Winners train, Losers complain (too smug)

    Some actual "quotes"

    People do not lack strength; they lack will - Victor Hugo

    Winning isn't everything. Wanting to is- Unknown

    Think big, believe big, act big, and the results will be big. -Anonymous

    Probably more my speed....

    To the Pain---princess bride

    Suck it up Princess... I think that was a joke with our invisible Canadian friend...

    2201 days ago
    I made fun of "J" with the bose system and the cute sports car (RX8--some sort of special edition, blah blah blah) UNTIL I got my Audi. Dude. The speakers matter. So to the tires. Expensive tires and sport rims mean you can go faster around the corners! :) I think we might have been separated at birth....

    I think I might go with the tri and didn't die option. And I might just have to get the liquid awesome one too. bwaahahahaha.
    2201 days ago
  • KRISTEN282
    I like the slogans!! Glad to hear your husband is on board too, it's so much easier when that person at home is going through the same thing. And you don't have to watch them eat all the yummy but forbidden things.
    2201 days ago
  • BUTTERFLY-1976
    I like the - We did a tri and we didn't die!

    I have - Pain is temporary, pride is forever - posted on my vision board. It's totally motivating when I start to think "Why am I doing this?"

    2201 days ago
    Awesome Jenn!!
    2201 days ago
    that is awesome, by the way.. I left a comment on your status that sounded bad after I wrote it. (the part about being fat, but people love you anyway". I was't calling you fat at all..was only thinking about the hot dog. Hope you did't take it that way.
    2201 days ago
    2201 days ago
    "Why do a 5k, if you don't get a shirt?" Awesomeness! Check out for some cool running shirts/ slogans. They have a contest every month for new slogans.
    2201 days ago
    I like .. we did a tri and didn't die! HAHAHA .. .loved it!~
    2201 days ago
    I did two triathlons last summer. The shirts were boring.. The finishers medals are really great though!
    I like I did a tri and I didn't die.
    2201 days ago
    Hi, I fast walked perhaps long enough to meet the challenge today. I'm still recovering from kickboxing but will definitely do a whole Tri one of these days! I haven't been on a bike in ages so that is one of my goals by the end of the year. How about "Tri to Meet the Challenge" or "Tri Awesome"--trying to think of a slogan. Anyway great idea for a varied workout challenge! Have a great workout today!

    (And Beano is a great idea, too, as I head into the veggie challenge and drink too much soymilk at times!)
    2201 days ago
  • HHB4181
    Triathlon: Where your competitive juices overcome your excuses

    That is a cool xmas gift. My husband would love that, except we live in MA.
    2201 days ago
    I did a mock tri back in May... totally rocked it. After I get the old hamstring back into running condition, I'll join in on this.
    2201 days ago
  • KIKI0531
    Pain is temporary - Pride is forever. I like it.
    2201 days ago
    I like this one: Triathlon: Where your competitive juices overcome your excuses

    2201 days ago
    Most of those slogans are awesome! I'll be another 5ker since I have nowhere to swim in MN in the winter and my spin studio is only open certain hours.

    I may be persuaded in the summer to take on the swimming (gasp!) since I know a few people use a local beach for their training. (I know, a beach in MN sounds weird).
    2201 days ago
    Great goals and motivators! You're gonna ROCK that TRI!

    Chuckles over the Beano...something about all the fiber in those fruits and veggies we're downing, eh? With you on that!

    2201 days ago
    What a great Christmas gift idea! That sounds like so much fun! :-)
    2201 days ago
    Sounds great.

    And yeah, fitting in a cockpit is a GREAT motivation. It's one reason I have a tattoo of a kayaker on my forearm.

    To remind me that I want to continue fitting into my boats and being able to paddle well.

    My other emoticon is a boat.
    (they should have bumper stickers like that)
    2201 days ago
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