Does Food Control Me?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Good Morning, everyone!
I want to thank everyone again for all the support, it is much appreciated!
My week has gone pretty well. My Fitbook is probably the best thing I have ever gotten myself for losing weight. If you are OCD, you will love it! It tracks everything.
So, my week and weigh ins are on Tuesdays and my goals for this week are:
1) Hit all my workouts (M, T, Wed, TH and Sat)
2) 2 veggies/2 fruits daily OR skip desserts
Reward if accomplished: a 2hr massage
So far I'm rocking it, even with my tiny slip of eating 5 mini PB snickers yesterday afternoon. I felt so crappy after eating five, bleck!!!
I was so busy yesterday that I had to fit my workout during work. So, as I spoke with insurance companies and patients I did sets of curls and tricep thingys with my 5 lbs weights.
So, I have two miles on tap for day and I'm planning on wearing my compression socks again, bc man, those are AWESOME!!!! They really make a difference!
I went to therapy yesterday afternoon and I came to realize that I am scared to go out to eat. Do you ever feel this way? Sometimes, I avoid it all together, but other times when I actually go, I have such anxiety:
Will I overate?
WIll I actually order what I planned to order before I even got there?
What if they have a veggie I don't like?
What if there is bread?
What is there is free bacon?!
It's endless with me. I just don't feel comfortable. I know it's something I have to work on, but sometimes it's just not worth the anxiety to me. I like being in control and controlling my environment (see why therapy is necessary for me---hahaha). I don't want food to control me.
For example, let's say I love, love, love cheese...to the point where I can't have it in my house b/c I will eat the entire block. So, not only will I be constipated til the cows come home, but I can't be trusted around cheese. So, I don't buy it and I don't have it in the house. Problem solved, right?
But then I starting craving cheese and I'm dreaming about it. I'm dreaming of Justin Timberlake feeding me cheese wearing a suit made of cheese.....................
But, I WANT that challenge. I want to have bad food in the house and say "Hell, no!!!" I don't want that at all or be disiplined enough to have a serving. That's the control I'm looking for. I'm not there yet, by any means, but I'm getting there. I'm getting to the point when I buy ice cream, and it sometimes gets freezer burnt and I throw it out before I even get a second serving.
I want to break that control snacks and crap have over me.
So, what are your thoughts? Do you keep bad stuff in the house and ignore it or binge? Do you not even tempt yourself by keeping it around or buying it bc it's too dangerous for you?
Anyway, that's it! Thanks for reading and the support!