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A new year, a new BLC, and renewed motivation

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

So, I was really struggling in November and December. I had some health challenges (including a pulled groin in November), some stressful situations (home alone for Thanksgiving, traveling for Christmas), but mostly I had a big heaping dose of complacency, or perhaps depression.

There's really no excuse: in my personal life, things were going great - my relationship with Chris is the most joyful, romantic, wonderful connection I've ever experienced. And things were no more hectic at work/school than usual. So, I don't really know what came over me. All I know is that once I hit 40 pounds down (165), I started feeling so much better about myself. I fit into cute clothes, I had a great man in my life calling me beautiful, and I was feeling burnt out from continually decreasing my caloric intake. This added up into a slow slide right off the back of the wagon, as my internal voice started whispering - "haven't I done enough??"

My exercise really dropped off, and my calories started climbing up. Some of the calorie increase was intentional (I decided to stop pushing for 1200 calories and instead shoot for a level around 1400), but it also had a lot to do with eating out with the boyfriend, and with family, and even on my own - oops!

And even though I kept coming back on spark, and lamenting my lagging efforts and climbing ticker numbers, I just couldn't get my "mojo" back.

I'm happy to report that, as of yesterday, I re-found my motivation. Maybe I just had to let myself live as a 165-pound woman for a couple months to just enjoy what that felt like. Maybe I just needed a break. But whatever the reason, that sense of "maybe I can stop here" has drifted away, to be replaced by renewed determination to keep pushing forward.

emoticon I want to be a single-digit pants size.

emoticon I want to feel sexy and slender.

emoticonI want to see myself at a lower weight than I've ever been as an adult: under 150 pounds.

emoticonI want to keep challenging myself with exercise, improving my fitness.

emoticon I want to train for and run a 5K this June.

These are my reasons to keep pushing, my goals for 2012.

The BLC18 challenge is starting today, and I am happy to report that I'm feeling fired up and ready for the challenge. I'm a Silver Spy this round, and I'm ready to bring it!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 4EVER21B
    2047 days ago
    You are on the right team for that!!! Now go back and change the "I wants" to the "I will" and get to doing!!! So glad you are part of our team!!
    2048 days ago
    I think we can all have holiday blues that keep us from normal activities and now that you are back, you will rock the BLC challenges and keep all of us moving with you. Happy Birthday
    2048 days ago
  • KARMA70
    I think your mojo and my mojo must have gone on a vacation together. I hope they had a good time and had a few drinks with umbrellas in them 'cause now it's time to get serious! :)
    emoticon emoticon
    I'm back on the exercise band wagon but am having a hard time counting calories and weaning myself off the treats. However I have to say the more I exercise the less I want to eat crap because it doesn't seem worth it to do all that hard work and not see any results.

    Good for you for setting out your goals and beginning to work toward them again! emoticon emoticon

    PS I'm curious to know how your laser hair removal is working out. Are you silky smooth yet?!
    2048 days ago
    flutter so happy to hear you got your mojo back, if it starts waning here a couple of booty kicks to remind you to stay moveing!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2049 days ago
    With that attitude, you will have a GREAT round of BLC!

    2049 days ago
  • LCDM83
    Sometimes you just need to coast before you can get it back. You are on your way! You can do this!
    2049 days ago
  • FITAT50
    And I am glad you are "bringing it" to the Spies!! You will Rock this round!
    2049 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    WooHoo! Have a great round! I know you can do it.
    2049 days ago
    New year, new goals- I know emoticon It happens to all of us, yes including myself. I lagged and found myself gaining weight. So I start off BLC18- with the same weight I started BLC17. Not happy about it but it is only going to make me work that much harder!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2049 days ago
    Have a great round with the Spies!

    Feel free to visit the den, though - once a wolf always a wolf. :) AROOOOO!
    2049 days ago
    Woohoo! Way to recommit! So proud of you. You know I was stuck for a while and I am recommitting too. School started and it is crazy as ever but I have a 3 hour break inbetween classes so I am take advantage of the school gym I was already having to pay for and now 2 days a week I am doing the elliptical/bicycvle and today on top of those things I am starting my C25K training. I am hoping my body gets jumpstarted by doing exercise 3 times a week that is NOT my walking video or my step aerobics video! We can recomit together. I am so damn tired of being in the 180's. I have been here for over 4 months. It is time to see a new middle digit. Well, gotta go to the gym now. Hugs!
    2049 days ago
    You have done so much and have emoticon goals setup for yourself. I think 'maintaining' at a new weight is emoticon and as you say now you're ready to get the numbers moving again. emoticon

    PS - It's great to hear about the wonderful man in your life! What a blessing... that's my wish for 2012 to find that romantic, true love!
    2049 days ago
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