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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

When you learn to put yourself first and do something incredible then that incredible thing gets taken back because of a lack of focus I can tell ya its not good feeling. There was a time in my life when I struggled to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I was going to die before I reached the top and some time around then I decided that I had to completely change the way that I was doing things, and I did. Losing 229 pounds at my lowest weight I came in at 305 pounds, now 305 pounds may sound high and it is but at the same time I am about 6'4'' tall and built large so its not so far off where I want to be and the way 305 feels compared to where I am today is an insane difference.

I think that not having something to reference was easier on the gray matter than having been there such a short time ago and knowing exactly how it feels. On my way down from 534 pounds I had no real idea of how 305 pounds felt, I was probably a Freshman in high school the last time I was that weight and not close to being an adult. My adult life had never seen that weight before so now that I had a short visit down to see the family living in room 305 it aggravates me that I let it go, take everything else out of the equation and it boils down to the fact that I was not disciplined enough to keep what I worked so hard for. I am left with a do-over if I want to see the other side of 300, I have to re-lose about 65 pounds JUST to get where I was already and if I let myself I could get pretty annoyed at that fact but instead I am going to attempt to turn that energy into drive that will get me back down to where I need to be with my weight.

I have to take control of what goes into my body, letting stress or aggravation get the better of me has not been good for my waist line so its time to get back to the basics. I created the perfect plan for myself, for my health and was beating the pounds into submission while making my body stronger than it had ever been so I do know how and what to do. Years of practical research and application of that research into my daily life turned a 534 pound man who struggled to do the most menial physical tasks into a 300 pound man whom had the world in his grip, there is no way that I can let that go.

Where my health is the subject, I have to be the one running the show.

That's all I got

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've been there - REALLY been there.

    I lost over 100 lbs in my 20s only to regain all of it plus almost 100 more. That was really tough. I felt like such a failure. It was heartbreaking and demoralizing. I think it's one of the reasons I waited so long (about 20 years) to try again.

    Surprisingly, something good did come out of that experience. This time around I remembered how sneaky the regain was, and the kinds of tricks my mind played on me - "as long as it's only 10 pounds I can get that off again pretty easily", "well I can still button my jeans, even if they ARE a little tight", "at least I haven't had to buy any new clothes", "overall I'm still smaller than where I started"... etc.

    So this time the memory of the past failure helped me hold the line. Because I remember how that felt and how easy it was to become complacent and comfortable and ease up on the tracking, etc. And because I know from the inside how that felt, I hold on to that and let my past failure fuel my current efforts. It's still one day at a time, and having lived through that brings home the need to stay on top of things in a personal way that reading or hearing about someone else's experience does not.

    One of the publications by the group who run the National Weight Control Registry mentions that successful maintainers report many false starts, regain episodes, etc. in the past before they finally got it "right." So I do not think my experience is uncommon, and it makes me hopeful that I've gained something positive from those past painful experiences.

    1833 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/12/2012 11:30:34 AM
    I sincerely appreciate your honesty and saying it like it is on all of your blogs. You are an inspiration and motivation! I have no doubt you will see 305 again and even less than that. Just take it one day at a time. You will succeed!
    1833 days ago
  • PSMITH3841
    You're the Ring Master, in this Circus of healthy living! Controling all the acts, isn't always easy... emoticon emoticon
    1833 days ago
    Nothing better than that feeling of being behind the wheel and in charge of that rig that is our body! Spark ON! :-)

    1833 days ago
    The journey to health and fitness is never over... it is something to be worked on daily. When we let down our guard.. kaboom... we can get clobbered! Don't beat yourself up too much.. as you said you know what needs to be done ... so now.... "Just do it!". Spark on!

    1834 days ago
    You'll figure this out and get back where you want to be, I know you will!
    1834 days ago
    Now thats the attitude I know and love here at SP
    1834 days ago
    You can do it. If anyone can, it's you my friend. Giant hugs!
    1834 days ago
    Good blog. Understanding is the first step. Taking responsibility the next your well on your way. emoticon
    1834 days ago
    don't know the details, but i've heard that one reason so many people gain back after losing is that it's hard-wired into the brain. how's that for encouragement. means we all have to struggle even more after achieving our goals.
    it can be done.
    1834 days ago
    It is so easy to let life run its course and get off track, especially if you have a lot of life going on.
    Only one way to get back to where you want to be, only one person to get you there.
    Don't be a stranger, keep us posted on your progress.

    1834 days ago
    as NIKE says 'just do it' getting back into a routine (I know that's hard with a rugrat) makes it a little easier but it's still an uphill battle. So man the guns, full speed ahead
    1834 days ago
    "...letting stress or aggravation get the better of me has not been good for my waist line."

    Me neither!

    It's time we took control and changed the things that are in our realm.


    1834 days ago
    1834 days ago
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