Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I am a very positive person by nature / personality or whatever it may be... But I have been facing some real struggles lately. Not just lately, actually the past few years. It seems like all of these things the past few years have been coming to a head lately, and I just feel overwhelmed by all of these struggles. I want to blog about it, I want to vent, I want to share my ache in my heart, in order that it might relieve some of the pain, and I can feel positive again, but I HATE BLOGGING NEGATIVE CRAP. I've done it in the past, and I already feel like the few blogs I have done are already too much......
So, I am just going to say, I am having a VERY hard time right now. There, you have it. Please be patient with me as I vent a little negativity one more time. It seems like struggles and hardship are just bombarding us from every side. And it DOES dampen my exercise, and take the pep out of my step. And it DOES increase my desire to plunge into bad eating habits to help relieve the stress and sadness.
But I am trying to keep my head up. After being sick last week (and down in the dumps), I didn't exercise or run until Saturday (which probably added to the "blues"). But this week, I am really trying to focus on getting back into my groove.... like FOR REALZ!! No more games!!
I've decided to get back to my old running routine, and getting up earlier in the morning to get my run in. I didn't want to have to do that, but it really just works best. What does NOT work, is leaving my run until the evening!!! After spending a whole day cleaning house, looking after my crazy kids, and taking care of business, it is like a BLACK CLOUD hanging over my head to think I have to go out and get my run in. I hate it. First thing in the morning... that is what works BEST for me.
So, I am working on it. I will NOT give up on myself!!
On a side note, hubby's job is not going that great. I think they are looking for reasons to fire him, since business has not been going well. Well, we could care less about getting let go, since he will be quitting in a matter of months anyway, but it does add stress to his work day, and adds uncertainty to our lives in general..... Just one of the things that has been weighing on my heart lately. Thought I would share.
Can't wait to come home. Plain and simple. I really won't be that sad to say "Good-bye" to Germany in (hopefully) the next several months.