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RUNDARCYRUN
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints 46,339
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Hurting.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I am a very positive person by nature / personality or whatever it may be... But I have been facing some real struggles lately. Not just lately, actually the past few years. It seems like all of these things the past few years have been coming to a head lately, and I just feel overwhelmed by all of these struggles. I want to blog about it, I want to vent, I want to share my ache in my heart, in order that it might relieve some of the pain, and I can feel positive again, but I HATE BLOGGING NEGATIVE CRAP. I've done it in the past, and I already feel like the few blogs I have done are already too much......

So, I am just going to say, I am having a VERY hard time right now. There, you have it. Please be patient with me as I vent a little negativity one more time. It seems like struggles and hardship are just bombarding us from every side. And it DOES dampen my exercise, and take the pep out of my step. And it DOES increase my desire to plunge into bad eating habits to help relieve the stress and sadness.

But I am trying to keep my head up. After being sick last week (and down in the dumps), I didn't exercise or run until Saturday (which probably added to the "blues"). But this week, I am really trying to focus on getting back into my groove.... like FOR REALZ!! No more games!!

I've decided to get back to my old running routine, and getting up earlier in the morning to get my run in. I didn't want to have to do that, but it really just works best. What does NOT work, is leaving my run until the evening!!! After spending a whole day cleaning house, looking after my crazy kids, and taking care of business, it is like a BLACK CLOUD hanging over my head to think I have to go out and get my run in. I hate it. First thing in the morning... that is what works BEST for me.

So, I am working on it. I will NOT give up on myself!!

On a side note, hubby's job is not going that great. I think they are looking for reasons to fire him, since business has not been going well. Well, we could care less about getting let go, since he will be quitting in a matter of months anyway, but it does add stress to his work day, and adds uncertainty to our lives in general..... Just one of the things that has been weighing on my heart lately. Thought I would share.

Can't wait to come home. Plain and simple. I really won't be that sad to say "Good-bye" to Germany in (hopefully) the next several months.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SEEHOLZ
    emoticon
    1719 days ago
  • CAROLCRC
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1720 days ago
  • JUNEBUGABEE
    Life isn't all sunshine and roses. You are allowed to have bad days, or weeks, or months-- you're only human! Sending good thoughts your way, and I hope there's a turnaround sometime soon.
    1720 days ago
  • MICHSTATE
    Please vent away!!! I wish I could help somehow!!! Just try to take care of yourself and know that I am pulling for you!!!!! Hugs!!!!!
    1720 days ago
  • MAGGIE101857
    Feel free to vent on us all you need!! My week so far has delivered the news that my aunt passed away from Ovarian cancer (hate that disease, it took my Mom in 2002; my cousin also passed away (congestive heart failure) and then we learned that a co-worker's baby girl passed away yesterday (they think SIDS). So heartbreaking. I came home and poured myself a whiskey (even though I am supposed to be on the treadmill). I am just going to allow myself a SAD night and get back on track tomorrow.

    i hope things pick up for you...Time to come home : ) emoticon
    1720 days ago
  • MSPRIS3
    Everyone needs to vent sometimes, it helps get things out in the open which I strongly believe is much better than holding them in.

    I am the same with running, if I don't do it in the morning, I won't do it, I have tried but it just won't work for me.

    Hope things get better, I'm sure being away from home has a lot to do with the stress you are feeling right now.
    1721 days ago
  • ROCKINMOM77
    Sending some positive vibes and emoticon your way!!
    1721 days ago
  • PSALM42
    emoticon I'm having a rough time too. Hang in there.
    1721 days ago
  • EMMANYC
    Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. You should do what you need to feel better, and if that means venting in your blog, by all means do it. Also, let us know if and how we can help. Do you want commiseration? Silly stories to make you laugh? Advice? Or just hugs so you know that you're being heard?
    1721 days ago
  • ON2VICTORY
    I agree, its YOUR blog. blogs that are doctored and tailored to make sure that all the right things are said are not REAL. Sounds like you are in a tough situation.

    I think the morning routine revival may be the ticket. but I would also caution you on setting your goals too high and under estimating the stress you are under. I have been there. Try to set those goals but keep yourself loose and be ready to adapt if necessary if the unexpected blows a hole in your plan. If you cant get out for a typical mileage, switch up to a shorter distance or time just so you can simply get out there. keeping the momentum is more important than hitting a number. even 10 or 20 min is better than a kick in the teeth and should help you feel like you are still maintaning some sense of control in an already tense situation.

    I was in a situation like yours and wound up gaining 20 lbs in 4 months because I lost my routine. that was over almost 3 years ago but it still has a nightmarish memory to it.

    keep at it, dont ever give up, even if you only get in 10 min a day, just do it. oh BTW...vent away, that helps big time too :)


    1721 days ago
  • ERINBEAR1876
    I am sorry you have so many things going on that are hitting at you *hugs*

    I think getting up for that morning run will make a huge difference. Take care of yourself, and know I am thinking of you and your family!!
    1721 days ago
  • MBSHAZZER
    Darcy, it's your blog... it's the place for you to vent and get things out of your brain! I have often felt totally overwhelmed by something and after I blogged about it, felt so much better just getting it out there. Then I usually get such nice feedback from Spark that I usually feel better. So, vent away!

    Also, I know what you mean about being overwhelmed. I have so much going on right now - what works for me is exercising first thing (just like you said) and unless you feel PHYSICALLY ill, to get out and commit to doing something, anything for 30 minutes. Doesn't have to be a run - could be a walk, yoga, stretching - something that is just for yourself.

    emoticon
    1721 days ago
  • AMOHAME2
    Big hugs and positivity are being sent your way!! I'm looking forward to hearing things are coming together and you are on your way home!! emoticon
    1721 days ago
  • MARLIMOO
    Positive vibes being sent your way....
    1721 days ago
  • RUNTRILAUGH
    So sorry - I've had rough patches lately, too. Know that we are praying for you guys and for yall to be able to come home ASAP!!!!!

    emoticon
    1721 days ago
  • LAURIE5658
    Like you, I have been feeling the exact same way. My heart is heavy and under alot of stress due to several issues. I am trying to deal with them the best I can and that does include exercise. I urge you to get up in the morning and get that run in so you can take advantage of the endorphins. Please take care of yourself and like they always say...and its true...this too shall pass!

    emoticon
    1721 days ago
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