Monday, January 09, 2012
Here I am again back and day one, well technically it's day two. I started my weight loss journey again on the 2nd and then the following day had to take a 5 day break due to a mysterious illness. I was in so much pain and after two days of suffering to the point I was in tears I decided to get myself checked out. Well with my lack of medical and money I had to head straight to the emergency room. After getting poked and prodded they still couldn't find the source of the pain. So after a few days on pain meds I am finally starting to feel better.
I managed to dance for 30mins today but i started to get back pain so had to take it easy. But I can say that's more then I have done since the 2nd. I decided to pick dancing as my main exercise during these cold winter months because 1.It's fun and 2.I don't have to follow directions lol. It is effective right?
My christmas present this year was internet.....which had played a big roll in my laziness. I try not to stay on it for long periods of time but it's so hard! I find so many things to do it's kinda unreal. My closest friend has moved and I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore so I spend most of my time chatting with FB friends and browsing through pictures. I miss her, I wish she didn't move but I know it was the best thing for her. I don't know I think this has been a big low to our friendship and unsure how it will be recovered.
I am serious about loosing weight this time. Why you ask? Well I had hit a few breaking points in the end of last year. 1.Little girl tells me I need to loose lots of weight 2.Friend uses me as a comparison to a "really big lady" as in like "She was bigger then you!". 3. A guy on a dating site told me I needed to stop killing myself and turn on biggest loser and last but not least all the countless pictures off myself that I look as big as a blue whale in. NO MORE EXCUSES! I am 22, never been in a real relationship with a man beyond getting used for sex. I can't find love if I do not love myself, and right now I hate myself. I do understand why I had to be one of the unlucky ones.
I have been overweight my whole life so it's hard to stick to what I am so use too. I do not have a food addiction. I eat when I am hungry and sometimes that is only once a day or 6 times. From this day froward I am going to eat small meals throughout the day. Drown myself in water and make an effort to work up to 1hr cardio per day. I am ready to do this. Are you?