Proud (and Envious) of My Future Me
Sunday, January 08, 2012
I have joined the BLC18 and already know that this is going to be the support and motivation that I've been looking for. I keep thinking about how, in just three months, I'm going to be ten pounds lighter - finally rebreaking that 150 mark! I can't wait!
I loved how I felt when I finally reached the 140s the first time, and have really missed being there. This may sounds cheesy, but it's true: I'm so proud of my future me. I am so awesome for doing what it takes every day to make the slow trend towards success. It's hard to track nutrition, avoid the treats and indulgences, and get sweaty every day, but my future me did it.
I hate to admit it, but I'm terribly envious of my future me, too. My future me looks hot in a skirt and tights and is starting to fit into size 8s again. I have a nice a** in those tight jeans - the ones my old me is currently hiding in the "skinny bins" on top of the shelving unit.
My future me went through a month and a half of rehab, restarted softball and running, and started climbing again. I'm so flippin' rad for losing that belly fat; I finally look good again in my form fitting clothes.
So my future me is thin, hot, and happy. I am proud of my(future)self for doing what it takes to get here, but I don't hold anything against my(old)self for how long it took her to get started. I just look back sometimes to remind myself that I was unhappy and insecure with all that pudge; that it's not worth the trivial instant gratification of sleeping in or closet-eating too much granola and chocolate.
It helps me to remember how hard it was to get here, how much discipline I had to have every day to track my nutrition -- honestly -- and to get to the gym early enough to do aerobic. It helps to remember that I felt dowdy and my clothes didn't fit, that I was awfully jealous of my thin me, and spent a lot of time sulking and avoiding. It's just not worth going back to that again. I know what works and need to keep doing it -- for my health and happiness.
Life's too short for envy. I'd rather be proud.