So Hard on Myself
Saturday, January 07, 2012
It is 2a, in the morning. I woke up wemt downstairs amd had some yogurt. Now I am internaly beating myself up. "I will never loose. i have gained since starting sp" others loose but me I just a looser". I don't excersise. This isn't meant for me......blah, blah blah.......Then I stop to think what I would say to my daughter if she was saying these things to me about herself...........Well that is completly differrent. I would tell her that the beauty of it all is that she can leave that behind her and do better tomorrow, There is always a chance to keep going.
Hummm. I would speak so differently to her. I would tell her how wonderful she is and that she has alot on her plate and offer ideas on better meal planning and recipies. I would offer to take small walks with her. She has phsoris Rhuetoid athritis and in on chemo. Many days she only has enough energy to get downstairs, and sleep on the couch all day. Her biggest side affect are migtains. I was dying her gair this evening and I could see so many bald spots. She lost her hair last year but it grew back. Now for some reason it is happening again.
I just wish I could love myself 1/10 of howmuch I love her.