Friday, January 06, 2012
Well, last year I did so well for the first half the year. Then things just seemed to slowly fall away. I kept pushing how much I could eat without gaining weight. Then, I started getting moody (probably because I wasn't eating as healthy) and my left leg started hurting. I started gaining. I was getting frustrated by my family wanting all the less healthy foods they were used to like fried foods and desserts, that I started making them again. Then my cat died and I started eating everything because it set off a bunch of emotions that didn't get dealt with when my dad died in 1993. I stopped feeling up to being healthy. In December, I looked in the mirror and realized that I had gained back 20 pounds of the 37 pounds I had lost since January. So my new years resolution is to get back to being healthier.
My left leg is continuing to hurt, but I am trying to walk regularly again. I had gotten up to 4 miles a day sometimes doing it as fast as 1 hour. Today I pushed myself to walk 3 miles in 50 minutes and am pretty worn out. I can't tell if my leg is doing better with the walking or worse. I need to see the doctor next week so I will tell her about it.
I have been trying to work on portion control and do well while I am at work, but when I get home, I start getting into everything. There is a lot of tension in the house and that doesn't help the emotional eating. Still, I have to realize that I call the shots on what I eat and I need to start saying no to some things and reach for other food instead. Intellectually, I know this.
For now, starting back at the beginning again should help point me at the areas that I need to work on. One medium term goal is to be more fit when I go to San Diego for two weeks in March. I grew up there and my husband wants to celebrate his birthday there. My brother and his family still live there and my sister will be flying in from Des Moines too so it will be a mini-family reunion. Last year I told my brother that I would walk with him every day and he walks 4 miles a day. My sister is the oldest of the three of us and I always admired her beauty. She was really thin to my overweight. I would like her to see me healthier and weighing better than she has seen me in over 20 years.
For now, my goal is to learn to control my portions by recording my food in the tracker, walk 10 miles a week, get into strength training for 10 minutes 3 times a week, and work on learning my triggers.
Small victories: Today I bought a sub sandwich for lunch, but I had a cup of fresh pineapple with it instead of fries or chips. It's a start.