As the years have gone by, I have tried to understand why my weight is just so out of control. I just couldn't understand it. I don't eat a lot, or so I thought! Yesterday I sat back and really looked at the things I eat, when I eat, and why I eat and I was truly amazed at what I saw when I ran that video diary back in my head!!
WHen I started my day I had a pretty decent breakfast: Raisin Bran Crunch, 1/2 cup of 2% milk, and a banana. Not too bad. For a snack I had a pack of Keebler Club and Cheese crackers, still not too too bad. Lunch Lean Cuisine Meatloaf and whipped potatoes. I thought I was doing real good!! I work a crazy shift so by the time I was finished at work, I was really hungry!! Although I had packed dinner (because between the grocery store and Sam's Club I spent around $250 so I wouldn't stop for fast foods on the way home.....deep breath), after picking up my daughter I stopped at McDonalds to get HER something to eat. (Honestly, is was really supposed to be for her, ok ok ok ok well that's what I tried to convince myself of!!!!)
I ordered (here is the embarrassing part) I ordered a large nugget meat with a coke, two Mcdoubles , and an ice cream cone!! Hmmmm well, the nuggets were for my daughter, but she didn't want them so I gave her one of the McDoubles and hid the other one so she wouldn't see, which she saw and we split. I ate all 10 ( I think it was 10, ate them so fast I didn't count) of the nuggets, more then half the fries we were supposed to split, and most of the large coke. The cone was eaten before we even made it home!!
psst psst.... still with me????
Ok, after sitting back and looking at this day, I realized that I am addicted to food. I could have easily gone home and made me a salad or ate half a sandwich, but the thought of getting this food excited me, not to mention my daughter who giggles every time we pull into any fast food restaurant!! There are times that I eat just because I think about it, smell it, see it, or just know that it is in the house. Right before I created this blog, I grabbed one of my daughters snacks for school and a pack of crackers. Was I hungry, nope, but I knew it was in the house!!
Now that I have acknowledged this, I have to figure out a way to stop it. I don't think people really understand that some people seriously have an addiction to food. I have looked at other aspects of my life and noticed that I have other addictions. Is my brain just formed this way? Now that I have had my light bulb moment, its time to look deeper at what the root of the problem really is!! I am not using this as an excuse, just know I have to look and dig deeper than others.
I have taken the first step.... I have admitted I have a problem....I am a Food Addict!!
tap tap ...........wake up....i'm finished!!!