I love my couch, OOOOOHHHHH how I LOVE my couch!!! My couch is comfy, my couch is warm, my couch is in the immediate vicinity of my second love, MY TV!!!
I can sit on my couch for hours and it entertains me the entire time! From letting me read an exciting novel to allowing me to watch a funny romance! I eat with my couch, I nap with my couch and I relax with my couch. It's wonderful!
But I have a secret. After months of spending time with my couch, I've started to yearn for something more, something that a simple couch just can't give me. Oh sure, my couch has always been loyal to me, always sitting there to greet me when I come home from a tough day. My couch has been there for me when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm sick and when I just need a friend to cling to.
My couch has always accepted me just as I am and has never said a word about how I look. As much as I admire and appreciate that loyalty though, I must confess, I've found myself seeking something more exciting. So the other day while I was out and about on an innocent shopping trip, I stumbled across someone else. Someone who greeted me with open arms and got my heart racing!
Someone who gently encouraged me to try something new and push myself to new limits!
Someone who accepts me as I am, yet still encourages me to improve!
That's right! The other day I started to cheat on my couch! It started off innocently enough with just a brief stroll, but last night I escalated to new heights of deceit! I pushed the limit with my new friend and when I came home to my couch, the sweaty bag of clothes gave me away!
All is not lost though, after learning of my indiscretion last night, my couch and I had a good heart to heart. We have come to a compromise, every day my couch will turn a blind eye for an hour or so and I will go spend time with my new friend, the gym. In exchange, I promised to stop eating junk food on my couch and littering it with greasy remnants of crap.