Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Well, I disappeared for almost the entire month of December. I accomplished none of my weight-loss goals, but only gained 1-2 pounds (pretty good, with all the Christmas sweets on constant ambush).
I exercised really consistently, though I had a couple of wimpy days due to illness. Also not bad!
But... that's not good enough for the long-term.
I'm over 150 lbs now, which is where the self-loathing really takes over. I feel fat, I hate how I look (and usually, by extension, myself), and this isn't where I want to be.
Plus, I have a wedding to go to in a month, and do I want to show up looking like this? No. :0
So, I'm back to daily calorie tracking, and as of Monday (Jan 2nd) I'm once again at a point where I can give up sugar entirely. No temptations until Valentine's Day, and last year I made it through that utterly sugar-free.
Short-term, I'd like to lose 10 pounds and move out of the self-loathing zone. I'm avoiding overcommitting myself on hobbies that keep me up late (when I tend to binge/eat too much), and moving my sleep "schedule" back. I also need to do consistent weight-lifting again, though I failed at that yesterday (too tired after my workout).
I AM struggling to get my Doctor to prescribe a reasonable thyroid dose. He's been backing it down again and again, in response to some new thinking . The week before Christmas, the low-thyroid side-effects crossed the line when my (formerly oily) skin got so dry that I started getting itchy rashes. They will not go away, no matter what I do, because lotions/creams/special-soaps don't solve the underlying problem. But I foresee my doctor being very stubborn about this.
Wish me luck, please, on this and all fronts.
I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays, and Happy New Year to us all!