Wednesday, January 04, 2012
I hate that I struggle so badly in the middle of the night to eat food. I hate that I will wake up one or two time and automatically without any or hardly anythought go right to the kitchen. During the day I will anaylze my thoughts of why I eat in the middle of the night why I cant say no and resist the temptation. I know that I am craving something that I scared that I have a lack of that I am trying to fill with food. I know at night there is a small part of me that is very deep within me that I probably supress during the day. Maybe I should be more mindful to that part during the day and I can help that part of me for the night. In the moment of waking up for the "fix" my mind wont allow myself to stop and think about saying no to that craving of food. If I do I basically ignore it and allow the binge to go through. Feel like crap about it the next day and I dont lose. I just have to keep trying new way till i figure it out. Sad about this, I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel soon. Until then I will keep on controlling whats in my control and do well during the day and exercise which overall is easy for me, Ughhhh wish I can just sleep instead of eat.