Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Ive had a very stressful year, and have not dealt with it wery well. I've somehow lost my voice-that inner voice that tells me I matter! That voice that gives me permission to put myself first. When I was locked-in, there was nothing that I would allow to get in the way of my gym time. There was no mindless snacking or excessive calorie intake--that voice would always stop me. But where did that voice go? How could I be so immersed in my healthy journey for so long (4 years), and then slowly watch some (thankfully, not all) healthy habits slip by the wayside? My life was very organized and simple, I was the focus; I put myself first. My time was my own, and I had no other responsibility but to workout and eat right. Then I became a grandparent...one of .the happiest days of my life! But subsequently, I became a babysitter, three days a week--and now care for two grandsons...I held on for the first year, but my gym time dwindled, until it came grinding to a halt in October. I learned very quickly how exhausting it can be to chase after a toddler(s), and I gave into that fatigue instead of fighting through.
I am hearing that voice again, it has begun as a faint whisper, and will continue to grow as I start(re-start) forming healthy habits again....I plan on making it scream at the top of its lungs forever more! I'm finding a way to fight for that voice to be heard again over those old self-doubts!
Hears to making 2012 (my 6th anniversary) mirror 2006!