Tuesday, January 03, 2012
I had school stuff to take care of today, a first step towards eliminating the pit in my stomach. I'll find out by the end of the week if I'll have financial aid for the semester. Also, I'm tired, tired, tired, tired. I haven't had diet coke now in 24 hours. That's an incredible length of time. No headache, but I don't feel too alive either.
So, I don't feel like doing what I'm supposed to do. I feel like bingeing. Breakfast and lunch went well, but dinner- not so much. I began by eating half a tub of mashed potatoes. I added margarine and pepper because I couldn't find any vegetable broth to make gravy. Next, I ate a veggie dog in a bun. I also had a small glass of juice, which I almost forgot about. My stomach feels ridiculously full because of the heaviness of the potatoes, those amazingly delicious potatoes. I was planning a purge, but plugged in my nutrition on here. I'm okay calorie wise, but 10g under on protein. I know this is only day 2, but it sucks that I'm already struggling.
And I'm sitting with a stomach heavy with food and I know I need to hit the treadmill. I hate this place, I hate it so much. Typing this and the fact that I didn't have diet coke to wash it all down with are the only things keeping me from that purge.
How to recover? I'm thinking I'll watch a movie with the kids and allow the food to settle. After I put them down, I will work out a bit so at least I'll be on track there. Tomorrow's a new day and I don't have to keep eating.