Sunday, January 01, 2012
My oldest son, Brent, is 38 years old and has always lived with me. Unfortunately, since he was 15 years old he fights "demons" that I only can imagine would be terrible to deal with. He has a severe mental illness and yet is the most caring and loving son I could ever imagine. He is always there for me and rarely complains about the poor "hand" in life he has had to cope with daily. From the little bit he tells me he lives in a very scary world most of the time. Yet, he is usually cheerful and is the type of guy that would give a cold stranger the shirt off his back. I really admire him and worry about him as due to his mental state he is very dependent on me. He has told me a few times he doesn't think he could go on without me. I know it's not true but it makes me want to be there for him as long as possible. I need and want to lose a lot of weight for myself but also he inspires me to do it for him. He is the most wonderful son I could have ever asked for--he truly is a kind, unselfish and loving person.
I've recently been sick and have had the chills at night so the other night I asked him if he could bring me an extra blanket and he quickly did that. Early the next morning he told me he was cold last night and when I asked him why he said that's because I gave you my blanket. That's just the kind of person and son he is.
I feel I've been selfish in not making more of an effort to always eat healthy and exercise as I'm not only doing it for only myself but for him. With my computer down almost the whole month of December I've slipped back into some of my unhealthy ways--not eating right and very little exercise. So, I have lots of motivation to make 2012 a Healthy year for me and I know I can do this. I'd feel healthier and stronger and be the better for it. My son in lots of ways isn't as demanding of me as I am of him. Sometimes he's the one that reminds me that yes I have the strength to do this Healthy Journey right and be happier at the same time. He's the best reason I can think of to finally get healthier and live a more fulfilled life myself.