Nutrition, exercise, health. Over the past 2.5 years on Spark People I have learned quite a bit about those three topics. What I have also learned is that after 2.5 years, I have netted a 20 lb loss instead of the roughly 100 lb loss I initially wanted to see. The only thing that's been holding me back? Me! I started around 240, and now I yo-yo between 200 and 220 because every time I start to lose weight I freak out at how vulnerable and exposed I feel. No more!
Despite how afraid I was that seeking help would make me weak or label me "the crazy girl," I have decided to enlist the help of a therapist. Clearly I need to build up some skills to learn how to silence that little b*tch in my head that keeps telling me that I don't deserve good things. I DO deserve to be healthy and happy, and so I am proud to admit to the Spark world that I did it. I asked for help. Now the real work begins and I have to start facing down all of the things I tried to bury with food. Yikes! Exciting, but scary.
So anyway, in the spirit of New Years I made some resolutions for 2012.
Eating within my nutritional ranges. Log, log, LOG!
Getting in at least 180 cardio minutes and 3 ST sessions/week.
Working with my therapist to develop healthier ways to manage my emotions.
Spending more time doing creative things like writing, playing music, doing art projects, etc.
Hopefully, this will get me closer to my goal of 121. I'm not going to pressure myself with a weight goal because I can only control my actions, not how my body responds to those actions.
Oh! On a side note, one of my girlfriends got engaged over Christmas. She's asked me to be her Maid of Honor (isn't that sweet?) and I'm super excited! The wedding is this fall, so that's a little added push to keep myself consistent- I want to look good in my bridesmaid dress for her pictures! I get to pick my own black dress for the occasion which is awesome because it means I can find something that really flatters me. (Yay for the lack of pink bows!)
Wishing you all a very healthy and happy 2012!