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    SHANTI66   7,115
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To argue with my favourite band

Sunday, January 01, 2012

January 1, 2012. 230 lbs. The heaviest I've ever been. How did I get here? Why I just came back to (almost) where I was before. In December of 2010, I was at my sister-in-law's (total sweetheart) and I was feeling some anxiety for some reason and I started to binge a bit after having successfully had that under control for a good while. I had even done an aerobic DVD for 3 weeks straight and gone walking regularly too after years of inactivity. 2010, until late December, had been a successful weight loss year. Back to Dec. 2010, I kept saying "I'll stop sneaking food tomorrow" or "It (this food) doesn't matter because I've already good off my diet today." And it didn't end there. I've been struggling with that one small slip all 2011. I lost weight, got down to 208 (my lightest in a while) and then in the past six weeks, I've gained 25 lbs because I've been eating like a 7 year old set free in a Candy Barn for a month and a half. My behaviour baffles me. I even did Yoga teacher training during this binge episode. Before then, I had been juicing (loved it) (highly recommend Kimberly Synder's book) and eating well. My stubborn metabolism had turned a corner and weight loss had become easy again. No matter how much sugar I threw at it, it kept me at the same weight. If I did go over my magic number, I'd stop desserts for a day or two and back I'd go, down again.
Well, it is New Year's Day, Jan.1, 2012 and I'm reigning myself in. I'm not on a diet I can fall off. For instance, we still have some of my favourite dessert left in the house, and this year I've decided that I'm not going to throw it out in one full swoop. I ate some of it today, had an English muffin (whole wheat) with cashew butter, and a homemade beet plus a bunch of fantastic veggies. For dinner, I'm going to have a reasonable portion of vegetable lasagna (again, not what I'd normally have on the first day of the year). But my husband made it for New Year's Eve, and it is one of my favourite dishes (whole wheat noodles emoticon and is something I want to eat today. Oh, and I've had massive amounts of water! Yum.
So to sum up, what I want to say is if you've been off your program last month, create a clean slate and to start ANEW. It's disheartening when you have to work 25 lbs hard just to get where you already were a mere 6 weeks ago and you have a few more 25 lbs to go. The other thing is to take it easy on yourself. Remember the 10-20% rule: Eat well for 80-90% of the time and make the remainder really count by treating yourself to things that you love.

All the best to you and Happy New Year,
Autumn

BTW If anyone has any insight as to why I ate 25 pounds worth of desserts in 6 weeks, even while taking yoga teacher training, I'd love to hear your hypothesis! emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOOKWORM27S 1/7/2012 11:24PM

    I have been researching serotonin and the effects on the brain. It seems that when our brains do not receive a balance of these chemicals (serotonin and dopamine) it sends out uncontrollable impulses to binge on foods (usually sugary treats) to induce a rush of these chemicals to level us out again. But it turns into that vicious binge cycle that I know all too well! Visit my blog from today to see some of this info I have discovered. I'm not a medical professional, but I have observed these effects of serotonin on myself.

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HIKINGSD 1/3/2012 12:54AM

    I have never been good about recognizing sarcasm in writing...so if that is what it is I am sorry for my reply :)

To me it sounds like emotional eating. I have been there and it is a daily struggle. Try to be aware of why you are eating. Are you hungry? Bored? Anxious? What do you feel when you are eating (fill in unhealthy item here)? Try to find a way to recognize your emotion when you are eating.

I associate healthy food with feeling good. (I should mention that I am mostly vegan and when I do eat animal products it is never dairy). There have been many times that I have wanted to eat a nice greasy cheesy pizza. BUT what stops me is knowing how I am going to feel 20-30 minutes after eating that and that it will take my body 3-4 days to get back to where it is happiest.

You can do this. Don't stop looking for answers.

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MARTHASPARKS 1/1/2012 8:46PM

    Autumn, you are a hoot. Let's see why eat all that sugar; boredom, trigger foods, fatigue, the I'm fat anyway so what the hell does it matter, theory, David working a lot, tis the season, not feeling that great, boy this tastes great, tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow - there are hundreds or reasons and excuses. You know how to do this...baby steps. Put one foot in front of the other and walk the path, doing the next right thing.
PS Congrats on your first blog. It was great, open and honest - very you!

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SHANTI66 1/1/2012 7:49PM

    Thanks! Happy New Year's day! Hope you have a great year emoticon

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MYOWNHERO 1/1/2012 5:19PM

    You can do it!

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