A bit Scared and Very Frustrated

Friday, December 30, 2011

Ugh... I got the lab results from my last doctors appointment. Every year in addition to the standard pap and stuff, she checks cholesterol. This time (non-fasting) the goodnwas low and the bad was high... Also, my blood pressure has started being elevated again. I am exercising five days a week most weeks doing the exercises my physical therapist has told me to do so I can get to a point that I can work out more aggressively. Right now I do a variety of strength exercises as well as fifteen minutes on the NuStep which is a recumbant cross trainer.

I have already had a stroke. I do not want to have a heart attack too or another stroke. I really have not had the support at home that I need. I try to buy healthy stuff, but no one else eats it and then we just get lazy. I still eat like crap an know better. I know what I am doing most of the time. I tell myself as I am walking to get more food or a late night snack I dont really need, that I dont need it and shouldnt be doing it, and yet I do it anyway. What the hell is wrong with me???? I am just like my aunt. We are addicted to food. It might be easier if we didnt need to eat to live.

I told my husband tonight that I dont feel like I get any support here at home and that I need his help. I told him that I want him to start eating better and working out too. He said he would... I just hope he does and helps hold me more accountable. Maybe by doing this together my daughter will get into better shape too and my son will grow up to be a strong healthy boy. As scared as I am for myself, I am just as if not more scared for my family. You would think that would be enough to help me make the changes... I was doing really well T it for awhile, but then I fell off the wagon so to speak and went right back to the old habits. Eating like crap, and way too much of it... Ugh!!!

We are visiting the in-laws this weekend. I asked my husband to please pack up the exercise mat and three pound weights so I can maybe do something this weekend. I am hoping my husband can be the annoying pain in the butt he usually is in the way I need most. SparkPeople is great, and I have met awesome motivators here, but I still need more daily butt kicking to stay on track. It is too easy to not want to turn on the computer at night when I have worked all day... I already have the app on my phone, but that is just to track simple foods and exercise. Any suggestions would be much appreciated...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    One of the hardest things is when there is not support at home, I really hope that you are able to find it and that your husband gets serious about your health (and his). If your husband doesn't get with the program, look into a support group like weight watchers perhaps or find a friend who will nag you and encourage you. But above all remember this is you, you take care of you, even if it means you have to go it alone. You get one body in this life take care of it.
    2267 days ago
  • DANLIN60
    Keep kicking yourself ACECHURA and don't stop but do it one day at a time. meke it a challenge to daily tell yourself no to those snackes or make it some kind of fruit that you really like.

    As far as the support at home I know what you mean. My DH keeps telling me that he will cut down on his eating and exercise with me and nag me when I cheat but he never does any of that even though I keep telling him that I will probably have another stroke .. I guess the only way we are going to succeed is to just make up our own minds, no one can do it for us but we are here at Sparks for you to talk to, even if you just want to post daily how you did for that day and I will tell you how I did and we both can get on each other's case or support each other.

    2271 days ago
    emoticon You have done a good self examination. It would be wonderful if there was an end to healthy a weekend....or a month....but alas it is a lifetime journey. And only we can prevent "forest fires" in our own lives.

    Spark People is a home we can come back to. Thank goodness.
    Best wishes in 2012 emoticon
    2272 days ago
    Good evening, I know what you are going thru minus the stroke and I'm still trying to do what is right.
    Do hang in there and keep fighting to do as you know what to do.


    2272 days ago
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