Well, it had to happen. I was on a roller coaster down hill and just couldn't stop myself, or wouldn't because I was too lazy to try. I mean, I was not exercising at all, which might have some understandability as far as the months of stress I'd put myself under, but I should've bounced back and re-evaluated what I needed to do and gone full throttle. That didn't happen. I ate total crap and ate and ate everything I could, even eating too much and purging that at one point. The one day I DIDN'T do that was Christmas day, amazingly. I promised myself I wouldn't do something stupid like that that day, but I sure grazed all day. No real veggies there (well, some, but i didn't stick with the veggies like i should have whenever I got peckish, dammit). I didn't get sick, but the next night I sure felt it.

I dunno what it was, but toward the end of Monday night I started getting sick out both ends and had major chills. It got so bad I ran the hottest bath i could stand and sat in the tub til i stopped shaking, then stayed in a little longer. I had a headache from hell and my stomach felt like it was being pulled apart. this was pretty sharp, and for a moment i was fearing the possibility of ulcers (since i can't go to the doctor, no insurance and stupid holiday season would make seeing him pointless anyway). I deduced with the other symptoms, then looked them up again later, that it was probably stomach flu. sheesh, in two months i've had the flu, two colds, and now this--guess I'm getting all my illnesses in in one fell swoop so the next few months I'm clear. ugh.

It was pretty sharp, and Tuesday was just awful. I wanted to sleep but no matter what I did my headache got in the way. I achieved absolutely nothing all day, too tired to read a book or do anything i needed or wanted to do, aside from try to make myself hot liquids to drink and not even think about Ramen soup (that was a horrible thing i couldn't stop eating over the break and i don't even want to consider putting it in this house again), which thankfully i had no more of. I turned down an invite to see "War Horse" at the theater this week (kinda bummed, but wanna be sure I'm out of this first--and the week between Christmas and New Years is a week I don't like being around a lot of people anyway) while chatting with a gamer friend online. I could only sit at the computer 30 minutes max, then the fever came back and I did another hot dip. I did finally get to start Doctor Who season two and got halfway through it. I was halfway dozing off here and there because of my headache (which made me wanna take screwdriver to my head to relieve the pressure) when i finally stopped watching, and at 7pm finally said "forget it" and went straight to bed. I was in and out of sleep the next few hours and dad went to bed around 11, i got up to take some nyquil and go back to sleep. I woke up an hour or so later in my fleece pants and night shirt totally dripping with sweat--i was so out of it I didn't even toss and turn and wake up to find out any sooner! I changed, dried off, and went back to bed.

Amazingly, aside from a lingering headache and slight sensitivity in my tummy, I was fine. I guess I succeeded in sweating out what bug was bugging me. My head was only a fraction behind the rest of me (instead of two steps behind), and i had planned to be careful with my stomach, but at least the splitting headache was gone. I can deal with an iffy stomach and the throne for stretches of time (solution: grab a good book to read, when else do we have time--hee hee), but not a headache that makes me want to shriek or cry at the pain. The chills really scared me, too--can't remember the last time I had chills like that.

Well, today was better, and to celebrate getting my instrument back, I had an omelette at Dennys with plenty of water and figured i was over most of it if I could hold it down--I did. I had to do my "get out of the house" moment for the week, and it was a necessary chore. Man, my instrument looks good. The symptoms have lessened, and I'm keeping close tabs on what my stomach is telling me. I should have been doing that all along.

Its amazing how little food I've wanted the past three days. I've eaten partly because I had to, and because I knew it was necessary, but today I've barely wanted to eat at all. I might've just had a lot to do or think about, but even when i was partially bored, that wasn't quite the case. I mean, I ate at Dennys and had a couple of sugar cookies when I came back from the store, but that was it. I just haven't wanted anything else at all today, and I was a little unsure when I bought the cookies (mostly for dad) at how i'd react to that temptation. I just wasn't hungry. My stomach's still calling the shots, and i hope I continue to listen to it.

Because I'm unsure about it at the moment, I'm going to have to wait a bit before I can go and start exercising again, but i can take the time to listen to it and plan. My taste buds and my idle hands often make the food decisions for me, which sucks, but when you just don't think about it, its easy to forget about it. I want my stomach to do the talking for me. Shoot, that illness made me drop several pounds very quickly, getting rid of all that garbage in me. it was awful, but it reminded me to listen to my gut, that's for sure. If anything, I'm going to plan this week and if I'm lucky, come January 6th the movie i want to see will be out and I'll celebrate by going to see it--with or without gamer friend, i think he'll be out of town that day.

Anyhoo, I'd better get to reading up some more stuff and planning my "homework" for tomorrow and onward.