Thursday, December 29, 2011
I'm doing well on my food tracking. I'm taking it one day at a time and trying not to let the bigger picture of how much weight I have to lose overwhelm me. That's not always easy. Sometimes, if I think about it too much, the light at the tunnel seems so far away to be almost indistinct. Just the teeniest, tiniest pin prick of light way off in the distance. However, if I really try to focus on today, and only today, then I know with certainty that I can do this. I CAN DO THIS.
I've gotten over being so terribly angry at myself for re-gaining most of the 60 pounds I worked so hard to lose last year. Trust me, that alone is a huge statement, as I am generally pretty darn hard and unforgiving with myself. I'm learning how to take a very good friend's advice though, and am trying to treat myself with the same love, sympathy and understanding I would show any person who is struggling with an addiction. Because no matter how hard that may have been for me to admit. I most definitely have an addiction to food.
My good friend DyfromWyoming's blog yesterday was another huge spur in helping me get back firmly on track. She's shown me that it's ok to talk openly, and without shame, about falling down and getting back up. Because it's the getting back up that's important. She also wrote about how working on loving ourselves enough to think we deserve a better life is important as well. Thank you for that, my friend. I truly needed to hear that.
So, here I am again, as we all are, just trying to make sense of our lives and how to make ourselves comfortable in the skin we've been given. I want you to know how much I appreciate all the friends I have here who have shown me the kind of love, support and understanding that I was unable to show myself. Thanks to you, and SP, I'm ready to start again. Come on, 2012, Bring it on!!