Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Today, I went shopping for a new outfit for work. I was very apprehensive and didn't want to go. The last time I went shopping-shopping for clothes was nearly two years ago and it ended with me crying in the dressing room. I went to buy a new dress and nothing fit right. I looked ridiculous. Clothes too tight, or in digits that were just ten years ago my age and lets face it, extremely ugly in that size. It was like going to a movie and watching someone poke fun at all the embarrassing moments of your life. You know the ones, you pray that God covered and forgave you for, but you never want to hear of them again. You know the one that you hear someone else did and you wince. As I tried those clothes on, my heart ached and the tears began. I seemed to slip further into a despair with each new piece. I cried, so long, I dont know how long I was in there. A sales girl came to the door and asked if I was ok. I mustered up enough courage to say yes, waited until she left and with my purse clutched to my chest I bolted out of the dressing room and out the store to my car.
Today, I didn't cry. Today, I selected pieces in my 'size' and it happened again. I looked ridiculous--with clothes on that were too big!!! HAHAHAHAHA! I went down 2 notches. I put on an outfit, I looked good. The cloth hugged my body in all the right places. I had a waistline. My pants fit. Today, I didn't cry. I turned around in the mirror so much I almost got dizzy. I couldnt believe it. I actually looked ok. Today, I paid for the items with pride and I smiled at the sales lady.Today, I walked out the door with my bag in hand and got into the car, sipped my water and smiled. Today, I didn't cry.