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THENEWMICHAEL
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The Christmoose Story

Sunday, December 25, 2011

It's that time of year again! The time when we celebrate the arrival of our Dog, Moose.

December 26th is Christmoose Day.

Once upon a time- that time being December 26th 2007, in the tiny town of Boyd, Texas, a humble family gathered in a humble home. The home was only 480 square feet and the family had no privacy. This led to many long hours of daydreaming about personal space and fantasies of being alone - kind of like that episode of the Twilight Zone where the character is locked in a small room so he goes crazy and hallucinates that he is the last person left on Earth and has the whole planet to himself.

Anyway, once upon a time a very special dog wandered about, looking for a warm place to sleep and some food for his belly. Of all the large homes scattered along the countryside, that special dog chose the smallest and most humble of them. With great purpose he approached the house.

That humble family in that very small home saw this very special dog and, being of open heart and mind, knew that they were looking at a very special dog. They also knew that this dog must also be of an open mind and heart to have chosen to visit them when he could have visited any number of others instead.

Yes, this dog was the most special of all special dogs. He was the Moose-iah.

The humble family invited the Moosiah in and, due to the dog's very special smell, they anointed him in the kitchen sink with plenty of water and special soaps.

After the special ritual, the Moosiah shook himself in a special way to sprinkle the humble family with the special water so that all shared in the anointing, and both dog and family knew that this day was special indeed and should be celebrated from now on.

They began celebrating that very moment, making offerings of special dog food to the Moose, and the Moose blessed them by never leaving their sides from that day forth.

The Moose accompanied the family when they went outside, he accompanied them when they went in the car (Dog is my co-pilot), he accompanied them when they didn't even want him to (the Moose is my shepherd that I shall not want... Okay, he's more greyhound than shepherd, but you get my drift.)

On Christmoose Day we celebrate all the special blessings that the Moosiah brought that special family:

He taught them diligence by piddling on the carpet for a while, temporarily prompting his family to call him Moose-ifer. (Cleanliness is not next to dogliness.)

He taught them patience by constantly staying under foot while they worked in the kitchen.

He taught them humility by having them stand in the pouring rain waiting for him to do his doggy business in the yard.

He taught them unconditional love by forgiving them when they took him to the vet and had his privates whacked off.

He tried to teach them to wag their tails, but it didn't work out. The humans were too caught up in that whole opposable thumb thing to bother growing tails. "Oh well, no one is perfect," thought the Moosiah.

Most of all, he taught them to celebrate by using the smallest event as an excuse to run and jump and spin around in circles in a joyous display of ...well...joy.

So, on this special day we should all take the time to spin around in a circle three times before sitting, lick the face of someone special, and celebrate all the moose-teries of life!
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