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    EMILY1244   71,825
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Christmas Eve Run


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Yesterday was a chilly morning (hovering around 20 degrees) but I geared up for my run. I wasn't really going for anything other than the need to have a run. The sun wasn't up yet. I have been sick. The complete and utter lack of snow has my allergies running rampant. Winter is the only time I have relief because (usually) the snow has everything covered so without it my allergies apparently think its Spring. Anyway, I had my Christmas music ready to go on my iPod and I headed out the door. This Christmas has been difficult for me. I am not 100% sure why, but I know a lot of it is stress. We are having a difficult time right now, financially. I mean, it seems these days, who isn't? We are slowing making progress, but it seems every time we make some headway, we knocked down again. My car's thermostat os going out, my treadmill broke, matthew truck broke down and needed a new fuel pump... And a host of other things, but then you throw Christmas in there and the stress was all but crushing me. No, I take that back, it WAS crushing me. I was on the verge of tears (still am, I suppose) at every moment of the day. Anyway, I went out on my run yesterday, not looking at my Garmin. It was buried under layers anyway, and I just starting running. I ran around town, where ever my legs carried me. I ran until I didn't think I would be able to make it home. I ran to clear my head. I ran until every emotion that was weighing me down was pulsing through my blood, urging me to keep going. I was headed up a road that runs between some fields, and the sun was rising and the sky was clear and beautiful with the sun's colors and this song started playing on my iPod.

Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song) by Amy Grant

I have traveled
Many moonless night
Cold and Weary
With a babe inside
And I wonder
What I've done
Holy Father
You have come
Chosen me now
To carry your son

I am waiting
in a silent prayer
I am frightened
by the load i bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now

[chorus:]
------------------------------
-----
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holiness
For your holy Breath of Heaven
------------------------------
-----

Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer-all I am
For the mercy-of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

[chorus:]
------------------------------
-----
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holiness
For your holy Breath of Heaven
------------------------------
-----

Hold me together. Lighten my darkness. All those emotions flowing through me, and these words sent me over the edge. At that perfect moment on the morning of Christmas Eve... I got the message, loud and clear. I listened to it twice. Did all my worries and stress disappear in that one moment? No. But I know that I don't have to try to handle all of this on my own. I know that I am not alone and there are people in my life who will help us find our way. Help me. It wasn't a 'magic' run that was a cure all for everything I am dealing with, but it was a moment in time that was given to me like a present. A moment to remember that worrying solves nothing. It won't make tomorrow better, and has only been robbing my today of joy. I will find my way back again. I will. "I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday"

Oh, and when I got home, my body so tired and spent, I checked my Garmin, and I had run 14 miles.

Merry Christmas.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GRACEISENUF 12/30/2011 9:00PM

    Oh man I wish I would have read this one sooner Emily. What a heartfelt blog and what a precious moment you have shared.

Anyone can quote a scripture but when God meets us right where we are at....NOTHING COMPARES.

Blessings to you Emily and your family in 2012. I'm asking that God will meet your every need...monetarily and spiritually.

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FUNFROG79 12/27/2011 10:13AM

    What an amazing moment for you! Merry Christmas! emoticon

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MARATHON_MOM 12/27/2011 7:02AM

    What a beautiful story. I have been dealing with a lot of the same stuff this holiday season. No Christmas Spirit, no excitement, too much financial stress. The great runs like that really help! And "Breath of Heaven" is a beautiful song to help put it all in perspective!

Thank you for sharing this!

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MARGARETONEAL 12/26/2011 9:50AM

    I hear you about the stress coming at you like a bad horror movie! I do a lot of difficult volunteer work that crushes me year round, and i can't run consistently because of it... but heh, this year I got it together and joined the Humane Society as a dog walker volunteer and it's the perfect runner's antidote to a stressful life. I get fresh air, I get to help the shelter dogs and I get some exercise time in that has to be done on a weekly basis, regardless of the weather. Anyway, I'm doing a New Year's Eve run and I'm so excited! I love these holiday runs! Congrats on doing yours!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 12/25/2011 12:39PM

    Merry Christmas !

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LAURIE5658 12/25/2011 11:32AM

    Emily, what an incredible moment. What you were blessed with was a God Nudge and those snapshots in time are a gift from God. He is reassuring you that He is in control and that this is His Plan for you. You know that Jim and I have gone through hell this past few years but our relationship with God has grown in ways that are miraculous. That was His plan for us.

You and Matt will make it through this and you will have learned so much in the end. Happiness awaits you and keep the lines of communication with God. He is there for you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

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NATPLUMMER 12/25/2011 10:00AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KEN2473 12/25/2011 9:06AM

    Wow!!!! emoticon

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