Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Ok people, resolution time is right around the corner, and we all know what that means...diet time!
While the promise of a new year can revitalize our weight loss goals the effect is often short lived. So come Jan. 3rd when your faced with grilled fish and brown rice and you find your motivation waning, try watching one of the following films.
Yes, I know this one is a little preachy, but there is something disgustingly reflective about the legions of obese individuals mindlessly floating around in their hover recliners, sucking on their cupcakes in a cup. Particularly if you're watching it while lying on the couch eating oreos, and suddenly have a flash of yourself in a couple decades; continuously watching the reality TV channel on your smart phone while driving one of those motor scooters to the store to get more oreos. Also you weigh 500 lbs.
4.) The Dark Knight Rises
I admit this is cheating, since the conclusion of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy doesn't come out until summer, but here's my reasoning. About once a year a film comes out in which a normally beautiful and underfed actress goes through and intensive diet and exercise program in order to make her body so unattainably thin and perfect that the women of America have no choice but to cave in to their insecurity and immediately go home and google said actress' diet and follow it, in hopes of being able to flaunt themselves in a catsuit or some such getup in time for Halloween. Last year it was Natalie Portman in Black Swan, I predict in 2012 it will be Ann Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises. In some circles I believe this is referred to as "thinspiration".
3.) Food Inc.
You could watch Supersize Me with the same effect. Basically the point is that finding out how the crap you eat is made will leave you so disgusted that you will have no choice but to eat vegetables! Bwa ha ha ha! The scene in which a cattle worker reaches into the open hole into the stomach of a still living cow actually made me puke in my mouth.
2.) Rocky (1, 2, 3 or 4)
I have written about the valuable diet lessons to be gleaned from the Rocky movies in a previous blog, so for the purposes of this list I will just say that after watching Rocky, I really want to go for a jog.
1.) The Silence of the Lambs
Yes, the face-eating is off putting to the appetite, and you could get a similar effect from watching any cannibalistic zombie gore fest. But the real dietary benefit to watching Lambs is that the message of the film seems to be something along the lines of "Fat girls get thrown in a pit by a psychopath, with a yippie poodle and skinned." And if that doesn't give you the urge to eat a salad and hit the gym, then pay special attention to the autopsy scene where the poor dead fat girl has had her back skinned, leaving her subcutaneous fat globbily visible. Mmmm...hungry yet?