Long term goal meditation
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I'm not big on weighing myself. I still picture myself as a thin and fit person, even though I've gained weight over the years that I am now intent on losing. Counting calories is no fun, and I'm very glad to have the help of the Meal Plans and the Nutrition Tracker here on SP to make it almost fun.
What I'm really looking for isn't a number on the scale. Instead, what I hope for is to see the double chin dissolve from my face. I want to see definition in my upper arms, where I remember I used to have a bicep and a nice indentation just below my shoulder. I also remember that when I ran my hand across my midriff and back, it used to be that I would really FEEL my fingers as well as feeling the midriff WITH my fingers. As I've gained weight, I have noticed that sensation is lessened! At first that was at least a little bit fascinating, but now it's very old, and it isn't fun. I remember when shirts would not always be in contact with my midsection. And I want to get back to that.
In terms of function, I want to regain some of my strength, especially my upper-body strength. I never had great muscular power, really, but what I did have was very precious to me! I don't want to feel that I have to wheel my groceries out in a cart, I want to carry them. I want to not get neck aches when I have had to carry a heavy bag one day. I also want my posture to be improved. My Mom had scoliosis, and I think my aunt (her sister) does too. I don't want to age into what I remember seeing at the office one day -- a woman so hunched, that she could only look down as she walked.
I know, from past experience, too, that it's just easier to be fit. When I am fit, I naturally seek out healthy eating rather than focussing on "rewarding" myself with sweets. And I know that working out regularly usually shields me from most of the little colds and sneezes and coughs of winter. It improves my outlook and it even keeps my skin looking better!
I have some old photos and memories of my maiden great aunts, several of whom, like my own father and his father, were beyond portly. In their day, portly still probably meant prosperous, successful! But also, those aunts had little or nothing to DO in order to be healthy and fit. They had come to a new country, America, and for the most part, they were caring for their parents and brothers, and that was all. Life's a lot different today -- I think, a lot better! But although my great-aunts were wonderful and spoiled me rotten, I don't want to emulate them in most ways! I am happy to have inherited some of their artistic talent and crafting skills, and their love for nature and animals. And family. But I live a different life. I need to move. And I want to be well, for as long as I can.