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SUNONMAPLES
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Long term goal meditation

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I'm not big on weighing myself. I still picture myself as a thin and fit person, even though I've gained weight over the years that I am now intent on losing. Counting calories is no fun, and I'm very glad to have the help of the Meal Plans and the Nutrition Tracker here on SP to make it almost fun.

What I'm really looking for isn't a number on the scale. Instead, what I hope for is to see the double chin dissolve from my face. I want to see definition in my upper arms, where I remember I used to have a bicep and a nice indentation just below my shoulder. I also remember that when I ran my hand across my midriff and back, it used to be that I would really FEEL my fingers as well as feeling the midriff WITH my fingers. As I've gained weight, I have noticed that sensation is lessened! At first that was at least a little bit fascinating, but now it's very old, and it isn't fun. I remember when shirts would not always be in contact with my midsection. And I want to get back to that.

In terms of function, I want to regain some of my strength, especially my upper-body strength. I never had great muscular power, really, but what I did have was very precious to me! I don't want to feel that I have to wheel my groceries out in a cart, I want to carry them. I want to not get neck aches when I have had to carry a heavy bag one day. I also want my posture to be improved. My Mom had scoliosis, and I think my aunt (her sister) does too. I don't want to age into what I remember seeing at the office one day -- a woman so hunched, that she could only look down as she walked.

I know, from past experience, too, that it's just easier to be fit. When I am fit, I naturally seek out healthy eating rather than focussing on "rewarding" myself with sweets. And I know that working out regularly usually shields me from most of the little colds and sneezes and coughs of winter. It improves my outlook and it even keeps my skin looking better!

I have some old photos and memories of my maiden great aunts, several of whom, like my own father and his father, were beyond portly. In their day, portly still probably meant prosperous, successful! But also, those aunts had little or nothing to DO in order to be healthy and fit. They had come to a new country, America, and for the most part, they were caring for their parents and brothers, and that was all. Life's a lot different today -- I think, a lot better! But although my great-aunts were wonderful and spoiled me rotten, I don't want to emulate them in most ways! I am happy to have inherited some of their artistic talent and crafting skills, and their love for nature and animals. And family. But I live a different life. I need to move. And I want to be well, for as long as I can.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SUNONMAPLES
    Wow, thank you all for the encouraging comments! Sometimes it can be intimidating to share, but being received well is a great relief and I'm feeling more on-target, too, having expressed what I'm aiming for. We ALL can do it! There's nothing quite like a community of people supporting each other! emoticon
    1738 days ago
  • KKP4673
    I love this blog!! I think you have nailed what it is like to feel wonderful and slowly wake up and realize you let yourself go... And still not "get it!"

    Good job on your way back to YOU!!!

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    1738 days ago
  • THETURTLEBEAR
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    1739 days ago
  • MIBELLALUNA
    You are so right and looking ahead to what other people are facing as they age is a huge wakeup call. My aunt was literally bent in half at a 90 degree angle to the ground with her upper body. What is it they say, when we age past 30 we start losing a lb of muscle a year unless we rebuild it?

    You can do it, you are still young! I don't even remember the days my clothes fit loose before but I'm edging toward it now! :)
    1739 days ago
  • BLACKROSE_222
    Wow - what a great blog. You have already passed a HUGE step by getting to what you want. Most people get caught up on a number - but a number can change for so many reasons. What you want should be defined by YOU. Congrats, and good luck!
    1739 days ago
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