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    SANDYHAZY   20,625
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints

Getting to the center of it all.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I have been thinking a lot about why I have kept my weight for so long. Today, I verbalized the reasons for the first time. These reasons have been bouncing around in my head for a long time. When I said them out loud today, they finally became real.

I'm facing the truth that I had buried for so long. Part of my healthy life transformation includes getting to the center of the emotions that have helped me to stay fat. Today I am facing the fear, hurt, learned behavior, sorrow, fear, fear, and fear. My cigarette crutch is gone,my drinking to excess is gone, my emotional eating is gone, my excuses for not exercising are gone. What is left is me dealing with my darkness. This is the painful stuff, that I've suppressed and kept hidden, that I've tried to evade and not deal with. It's all out in the open, exposed to the light. This is so that I can truly transform. It is challenging and uncomfortable, but very necessary.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NEWPATHS2011 12/14/2011 12:32AM

    I have been working on the same issues. I am trying to name my dark passengers so I can get rid of them and get healthy. I am proud you have taken such a huge step into conquering the darkness... I know you can do this!!!!! You are NOT alone

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CHERYLSBUTT 12/13/2011 10:49PM

    These are the journeys we need to take to get tothe real you
...but the other side of the trip is awesome! Look and step forward

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