40,000-49,999 SparkPoints 49,256


Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Not much new. I am continuing. I am not really losing. I am making myself struggle. I am not stopping the struggle and I don't like it. I am hoping that writing it will bring me back to reason. I realize that I want to be thin more than I want the treat. But, my inner critique is telling me that it does not matter. I just really doubt on some level that I can be less than 200 pounds.

I am so close but part of me refuses to believe even that. I need to be strict or at least planned. It might be OK to have the treats if I limit them. This all or nothing thinking is really bogging me down. Time to let go.

Time to realize that I am making progress that can be seen.

Time to bravely face the possibilities of the future.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon We can do it!! Pam we all have struggles and facing them head on makes us stronger!! emoticon
    2266 days ago
  • NANCY-
    I love your insight-fulness. "I am making myself struggle." I hear you and am in the same boat. What I do when I struggle is to ask "what do I truly want" then commit to taking action.

    Don't doubt... do it. (and you know you can!)
    2267 days ago
    Some numbers can be scary. If you weighed 238, would it make a difference? How about 267? 200 is a big number. It is very symbolic and takes you from "fat" to "overweight" even if the BMI disagrees with you. It makes you in a more normal weight range.

    It is a big deal and you have a whole different set of rules.

    Pretend you are one of the other numbers and act as though you want to get down so you can see the big 200 and reach it but it is so far out of reach that you have to be really tough on yourself.

    You have done such amazing things and are so strong that you can do it. You just have to get past the mental numbers game.
    2267 days ago
    2267 days ago
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