Monday, December 05, 2011
I can honestly say that at this moment, I want to give up. I was doing really well for awhile and getting no where. Now the past few weeks I've fallen completely off the wagon and I want to quit. I cant seem to shake the negativity right now. Im frustrated because I've "restarted" this process so many times that that alone makes me feel like a failure. I know this is a journey and it takes a lot of work to reverse the bad stuff but I just feel really defeated today. I mean how many times can you restart before you just realize you cant do it?
Well this time is not that time. I am restarting again and hopefully can get my self together. If I fear anything more then not losing weight, its gaining back the weight I've already lost. The 20pds I dropped before joining SparkPeople. I've done that before and hated myself for it. Why put in all the time and effort just to go back? Ive just got to remember that because being stuck in the same spot all these months has really taken its toll on my motivation. I would just for once like that scale to move down, rather then up and back to the same place.
So yeah, Im not quitting even thou today Im sure I could. I just really need to pick myself up somehow.