Sunday, December 04, 2011
Lately, I've been dealing with a lot in my life and I am simply letting go.
It feels soooooo good to say that. I have been holding on to things for so long that are either out of my control, or that will never change unless I take the initiative. It's so important that I understand that I am only human and God would never expect me to be any more, so why do I expect me to be so much more than that.
I am so ready to just stop hating myself and feeling bad about myself when I am beautiful the way I am. It's so easy to get caught up in a certain standard of pretty that is put out there and I am not buying into it anymore. I am finding myself. I am finding my way back to me again.
For so long I have been trying to be something I am not to fit in or to appear less weird or nerdy or something else. But the truth is that I am weird and a bit of a nerd and that's okay, because its me. I am in a place where so many things have been going badly. I haven't been able to find a job, money is getting tight at home with my family, I am losing my scholarship, my classes are getting tougher, I am having horrible eczema issues, I am having issues with my father, and about a hundred other things. I am letting all of them go and moving towards a place of happy. Many of these things can be worked out in time, some things are beyond my control, and some things I just need to get over. But one thing is for sure, I am going to find my way through all of the issues and pain and drama and everything with God right there with me. I am setting myself free from it all. Finally!