Hi my name is Jen and I am an addict!
Sunday, December 04, 2011
Every morning, as soon as I get out of bed and use the restroom,I weigh myself!
This is the way I start my day and how I set the tone of my feelings toward myself.
If it is a lower number I feel great! I actually feel skinnier and think people see me as I feel, great and sexy! My confidence is through the roof! I am nice to everyone and the whole world is nice to me! I see my life how I want it to go!
If my number is higher! Well then, I am so down on myself! Negative feelings about me being a failure and I am never going to accomplish anything! As soon as I see that number and then look at myself in the mirror all I see is this worthless, hugely fat, ugly, digesting looking failure! I then will forgo my healthy way of life cuz whats the point?
So I go up and down of being kind to myself and the being so awful to myself! And why? All because a number? I use to hear people say "don't let a number define you". And I thought "well I don't. This doesn't apply to me". I guess I have been in denial!
I had a breakthrough this week! I finally realized I was letting a number define me, my worth, my abilities!
Well I am DONE! I put the scale away for a month! Oh my gosh! I have never done this! I am going to rely on how I feel! Exercise and healthy eating makes me feel great! I am going to continue tracking my calories and exercises! I am going to get a body bugg and do this without the lying scale! I feel good and look good when I do it right! I don't need a dumb little scale telling me how to feel about me! I will weigh myself in a month after just going on tracking, exercising and how I feel!
I am excited to wake up tomorrow (day 2 of no weighing) and just listen to my body! To look at myself in the mirror, feeling my ab muscles being sore even while I wash my face and my legs being sore when I sit down, and just feeling the pride of knowing I kicked my booty yesterday and I love it! I will look at myself and love myself and love to take care of me! No more of this daily weighing for me! I will start with monthly weigh ins! Yikes that seems like a long time! But I need to break this addiction and just look at myself in the mirror with love and kindness! And pride!
Okay I am done! Just had to share what's going on with me! Good night my lovely friends! Going to do yoga and then watch a movie until hubbylicious comes home! See you later!