#today_left160x600 {position:absolute; top:-150px; left:0px; width:160px; } #today_left_align { position:relative;} #today_left_fixed {position:fixed;}

 GERIKRAGH 156,807 SparkPoints

 Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

### Saturday, December 03, 2011

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven..
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed,
and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,
an entrance examination for everyone.
The test is short, but you have to
pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir.
But nobody ever told me about any entrance
exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test
as it was.'

St.. Peter continued, 'Yes, I
know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:
What two days of the week
begin with the letter T?

Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:
What is God's first name?'

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,

Forrest replied, 'Well, the
first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..'

The Saint's eyes opened wide and
he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit

'How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds
in a year?'

Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
you credit for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name'?

'Sure,' Forrest replied,
'it's Andy.'

'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated
and frustrated St Peter.

'Ok, I can understand how you
but just how in the
world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Shucks, that was the easiest
one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'

 INFLATED 12/6/2011 6:08AM Forrest was smarter than me on the first two. Report Inappropriate Comment
 CORNERKICK 12/4/2011 3:33PM You go Forrest! Report Inappropriate Comment
 SENATOR9 12/4/2011 8:04AM Report Inappropriate Comment
 JANIEWWJD 12/4/2011 12:08AM I really loved this one because Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies. Report Inappropriate Comment
 MERRYMARY42 12/3/2011 9:15PM That is a nice one, Love it Report Inappropriate Comment
 IDLETYME 12/3/2011 7:34PM That's great! Report Inappropriate Comment
 JUDY1676 12/3/2011 7:16PM Loved it! Report Inappropriate Comment
 JKURJACK1944 12/3/2011 6:45PM Report Inappropriate Comment
 1CRAZYDOG 12/3/2011 6:25PM This is too funny!! Couldn't have thought of better answers myself. Report Inappropriate Comment
 ROBBIE53 12/3/2011 6:13PM LOL Report Inappropriate Comment
 CHRYS13 12/3/2011 5:50PM Report Inappropriate Comment
 NEW-CAZ 12/3/2011 5:45PM Report Inappropriate Comment