Friday, December 02, 2011
Yep - That is what I say...I need to listen to myself and do as I say! I'm not going to put the blame on anything/anyone but ME! I'm not really proud of myself, and I am going to have to do something about it! I have been dormant for a while... since the summer. And here is my story...I need to get it out, forget about it and MOVE ON!
As of August 1, 2011 I was just 11lbs away from my goal! I was fighting with myself because those last few lbs are the hardest to lose. I was frustrated with myself because whatever I did wasn't working... Turbo Jam, Biking, running… I hadn’t done my walking at work because that has been so demanding of my time. Then I realized that I didn't really have the finances and time to add in there swimming, or go to a gym with an elliptical just to change up my routine. So then because I was trying SO hard to get my metabolism up and to burn more calories, I got stressed and incurred an injury... While hubby and I went out for our yearly biking trip, I stepped off my bike and twisted my ankle. From there it just SNOWBALLED into more issues.
I then couldn’t run until the ankle was healed, and I was feeling like I was losing a battle with myself. I lost my energy to get up early in the morning to do my strength training and then I was trying to be to work early in the mornings so I could get home early to do something like I did the previous summer… but that didn’t work either… Then school started. Beth is a senior in High School, and this is the year that she has a lot of planning to do. And I want to be part of that... again frustrated that there is not enough time in the day for me to make time for me, work, and be there for my family. Between helping her get her license, going to her bowling on Saturday mornings and being a regular house wife, I just got frustrated with myself even more…
My old habits started in again…and my depression was lingering longer... I lost my spark, I lost my focus on my goal. I really was bummed... because I KNEW that the walking was going to keep me going, I KNEW that trying to stay positive was going to help me stay on track! So I weighed again in September and I had gained a few lbs... I was up to 180 something. I wasn’t honest with myself and didn’t track it in SP. I figured I was ok because I wasn’t in my daily routine and slacking off on the exercise is what contributed to my weight gain. I kept telling myself that I will get back down to the 177.... I just loved how I felt, and how my clothes fit me. That was the same weight I was when I stopped Jenny Craig… and I wasn’t going to have another repeat! I fought with myself to get started again.
Since early October, I have had a problem with my right hip. The week after my daughter and I had a weekend of College Tours, I got on the treadmill and began my running again… I was upset with myself that I haven’t made my goal YET! I should have made it a long time ago… but didn’t. I understand each person is different… but try telling my heart that. So anyway… after running that week, my right hip would be stiff and sore! I could barely walk. As long as I am being honest with myself, I have to admit that I was feeling something in the hip about a month ago. I just ignored it, thinking it was growing pains. I went to the doc to see what it could be and found out I have beginning stages of Arthritis or Tendonitis started, and I rather not let that go into Bursitis. So I began taking Glucosamine, Vitamin D, B-Complex, Vitamin C and Omega 3, 6, 9 every day! After a few weeks (by Thanksgiving) I was feeling better mentally! I still have arguments with myself… but I am beginning to see the goal again…
Then my friend Comfort was asking me about some ideas to help her keep her momentum going.. she had lost 15 lbs and wants to lose more before next April. I told her about Coach Nicole’s DVD’s that I did every day when I started out in my journey. Just by talking to her I see how much I inspired her to get back on track.
Then a co-worker who started to lose his weight had came to a plateau and gained again. Just recently I saw him and he has lost over 50lbs and LOOKS GREAT! I am very proud of him. He said that with me stopping by his work area just to tell him where I was in my journey helped him get back on track. I asked him what he was doing.. he said he hasn’t started exercising yet.. but have been counting his calories. I said yes… counting calories helps ALOT!!!
So here I am today… December… almost 6 months after my bout of depression and I told myself that I have to continue! Besides the size 14’s I have are getting very SNUG… and this past summer they were very LOOSE! The hip is still in the healing process. On a good day I try pushing it a bit, and come to find out later in the day, that I really can’t do that. so I have tried to stay active somehow. Doc says that when the hip is consistently feeling better, then I can start my exercise again SLOWLY! So my goal is to stay active, someway. My eating habits haven't gotten any better either... Not tracking my food was a problem.
As of December 1, 2011 I am starting over! I joined a group on facebook with a health coach… holding myself accountable to exercise. There are others there that are also posting positive things… a lot of whom are in the area. I also weighed myself… from August 1st to now, I gained 16lbs. I’m not proud of myself for that… but only one to blame is me. So I even logged it into SP. I am back to 193 and at my halfway from my start weight.
I still have other frustrations that I am working through… one is by end of winter, since I can’t do much lower body workout… is to totally DECLUTTER my house. I’ve already started with my bedroom. And it feels great to have a clean and organized room to sleep in. When my next frustration comes, if you don’t mind, I will blog about it to get it out… just so that I can move on! I may have to start out slow again, but I am ready to start new and make it to my goal!
Thank you for reading! Have a sparking bright day!