Thursday, December 01, 2011
Each one of us has joined Spark to have support during a time of crisis. It just happens that the initial crisis is weight loss. Any other benefits/support that we derive from our association with fellow Sparkers is just bonus. We need to remember that.
I have sat down and written long replies to different postings, only to delete half (or all) of the posting because, after reading it over I realized that it wasn’t going to build that person up – it wasn’t going to support them in their journey. I feel that each of you out there need something from me…respect. Maybe that translates to a kind word, maybe a helping hand, maybe an idea that you can decide to use and sometimes even a kick in the pants. But, it isn’t up to me to decide which you need at any given time. Sometimes people post things just to vent them and get them off their chest so that they are no longer hindering the journey they have started. Maybe they should find a less public way of doing that? Or, maybe we should take it as just that…venting..nothing personal…no need to get on the bandwagon and cut the person down to size. If you don’t like something that is said/written…ask why first. Are they having a bad day/week…did something drastic happen in their lives and they are trying to figure out how to cope with it…did they read something that someone else read and took it wrong? Spark isn’t the movies (HELLO…most of the movies are FICTION!)…it is real life. Who are we to criticize how someone else handles over-eating at the holidays? Who are we to say to someone that maybe their spouse doesn’t care anymore because they are FAT (even if the pictures say different)? Remember, words hurt just as much (and sometimes more) than physical abuse. Choose them carefully.
Let’s put it like Thumper’s mom (from Bambi) put it…”if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”…If we all treated one another that way in life, the world would be wonderful. I am not saying that we might misinterpret someone’s need at some point and mistakenly post something that turns out to be not so nice for them, but some people just stomp all over other people in their replies. That is just plain NOT NICE. Let’s try this…if you can’t say at least one nice thing in a reply to someone…just don’t reply.
I have always tried to feel out people in the only way I know how…treat them nicely. My father always said that you “get more flies with honey than with vinegar”. I always wondered why I would want to attract flies…unless to dispose of them! Lol, but you get the point. If I get an in-kind response, even if their initial post or verbalization was negative, I treat them as a friend, maybe even one in dire need. If they reply negatively (and I don’t usually get this type of response, so I am purely in guess mode here), I suppose I would just ignore them. It would hurt to receive something like that, but I would get over it. Negativity is all around us…why go looking for it?
So, the long and short of it, I guess, is that we need to respect others on Spark. We need to treat them like we would like to be treated…kindly and with the intent to help them be a better person.
Thank you for listening to my vent!