Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I went back to California for the holidays and found it to be emotionally crushing. It was my first time back since moving in July. Seeing my kids happy for the first time in months and seeing my wife happy for the first time in months really made me question my decision to leave. Everyone keeps assuring me I made the right decision but a new job and a new house cannot replace family. I guess you can never really go home again and a lot of the family we saw have married and started lives of their own but seeing my 5 year old running from cousin to cousin smiling from ear to ear is an image I am having a hard time pushing from my mind. That Miranda Lambert song The House That Built Me keeps coming into my head where she says, “You can’t go home again.” On the plane ride home my five year old asked me why we couldn’t stay in California and I feel really bad for her. She doesn’t understand and sometimes I’m not sure I understand. I sure hope it gets easier to go back and visit.