Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I've regained my weight. Again. And recently I found myself hating my body. Again. Then, the other day, I came across a blog via Facebook that's called "This Is Not a Diet. It's My Life." And it clicked. This is my life. How do I want to live it? How do I want to feel each day? Do I want to hate my body, or be angry with myself for not keeping the weight off? Do I want to turn to food when I'm down, only to feel worse after turning to food? Do I want to feel ashamed of my body, or to twist away from my boyfriend when he touches me so we won't feel the parts that lob over or jiggle or stick out? Obviously, the answer to all of these is "no." So how do I stop? I just...stop. I stop doing the things that make me miserable. I stop doing the things I can't live with or that I'd tell someone I care about to stop doing. I just stop. So today, I'm stopping. I'll backtrack, no doubt, since I have many, may years of hating my body rather than loving it. But I will stop. And I'll begin living my life as I want to go on. Starting now.