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    MAZZMLANI   15,712
SparkPoints
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints
 
 

It Has Been a Year. . .


Monday, November 28, 2011

Yes, it has been a year since I posted anything ere on Spark People. I have no thoughts that anyone will actually read this but I figured I would do it - at least for the spark points if not for my own health.

For my own health.

It has not been a priority, I admit.

I always want to lose weight. That is always on the front of my mind. To lose weight, to look good, to be productive, to feel good about myself. But I don't think I really deep down inside care about being healthy.

I would *like* to care about about that. And of course caring about caring about being healthy could be better than really not caring at all. Better than wanting consciously to be self destructive. But when it comes down to it, I think one needs to actually CARE about being healthy. And I'm afraid wanting to care about these things is just not good enough.

So. How do I begin again on this journey to health and getting down to a healthy weight? Well. I guess I try and find out what makes me care about being alive. And somewhat I think I also need to operate in spite of my fears; in spite of the thing inside me that says "I know I want to lose weight, my knees hurt, my stomach is always bloated because of the sheer volume of fatty foods I ingest - but I reeeeeaaaallllly want those BBQ Ribs. The salmon is not HALF as appetizing!"

I think I'll make a list of all the things I want to live healthily and happily for. And I'll keep that in my pocket. And every time I want to indulge in something I know I need to avoid (aside from my cheat days - because I DO believe that cheat days are helpful on this journey), I will take it out and look at it.

This list will be highly personal. So personal, I won't post it here. But I *will* post my progress.

If you're reading this, I thank you for doing so. And I ask you: what do YOU do to keep yourself tuned into the things that are important to you?

If no one is reading this, I'll just be thankful I'm doing something to set myself on the right path again.

Happy Post-Thanksgiving! ;)

~Mazz
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JULIAJEAN2 11/29/2011 2:27PM

    HI Mazz,

I have recently run into a brick wall (or so it seems) with self care. After picking my self up I realized I needed to take time to get back in touch with "Me". Every morning I reconnect with what my goals are for the day/week/month. Maybe a little inspirational/spiritual reading...could be quotes or chapter depending on amount of time I have.

Thank you for your post. It also served as a reminder for me to look for new ways to re-connect and grow. Aim for the sky, my friend, but never forget who you are. Julia

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23KAIYA 11/28/2011 6:01PM

    Mazz, there are to many things to list them all but here are some big ones that keep me going.
Seeing my progress charted on Spark, the reports, the summary calendar, it's all great feedback! My spark friends help a lot too, they cheer me on when I slip, congratulate me on my success and I do the same for them. In a year's time I've made some good friends and I'd miss them if I didn't check in. Being able to train in martial arts again, wearing clothing that 'almost' fit when I bought it 3 or more years ago and now it's too big, having the energy and stamina to climb several flights of stairs in full winter gear after my 4 mile walk during my break, it's all wonderful.
Keep going, baby steps if that's what it takes. This is a journey and one that is well worth it.

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