Monday, November 28, 2011
Yes, it has been a year since I posted anything ere on Spark People. I have no thoughts that anyone will actually read this but I figured I would do it - at least for the spark points if not for my own health.
For my own health.
It has not been a priority, I admit.
I always want to lose weight. That is always on the front of my mind. To lose weight, to look good, to be productive, to feel good about myself. But I don't think I really deep down inside care about being healthy.
I would *like* to care about about that. And of course caring about caring about being healthy could be better than really not caring at all. Better than wanting consciously to be self destructive. But when it comes down to it, I think one needs to actually CARE about being healthy. And I'm afraid wanting to care about these things is just not good enough.
So. How do I begin again on this journey to health and getting down to a healthy weight? Well. I guess I try and find out what makes me care about being alive. And somewhat I think I also need to operate in spite of my fears; in spite of the thing inside me that says "I know I want to lose weight, my knees hurt, my stomach is always bloated because of the sheer volume of fatty foods I ingest - but I reeeeeaaaallllly want those BBQ Ribs. The salmon is not HALF as appetizing!"
I think I'll make a list of all the things I want to live healthily and happily for. And I'll keep that in my pocket. And every time I want to indulge in something I know I need to avoid (aside from my cheat days - because I DO believe that cheat days are helpful on this journey), I will take it out and look at it.
This list will be highly personal. So personal, I won't post it here. But I *will* post my progress.
If you're reading this, I thank you for doing so. And I ask you: what do YOU do to keep yourself tuned into the things that are important to you?
If no one is reading this, I'll just be thankful I'm doing something to set myself on the right path again.
Happy Post-Thanksgiving! ;)