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    STEPHSTARLING   4,449
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11.24.11 (almost a year off the bandwagon)


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Yep, that's right. Almost a whole year from writing on here. Don't get me wrong, I've tried different ways to get my weight down, to motivate myself to exercise, so on & so forth.

Well it didn't work, or at least didn't stick.

alotttt has gone down this past year and now that it has all calmed down a bit, I feel like this is the long over due time I stick to my guns and get things going.

I have decided to writ a blog every day. I don't know if anyone will read it, and i'm not writting with that intention. I'm writing with the intention of helping myself understand what my body and mind will be going through on this long journey.

alot needs to be done, but the 'one step at a time' attitude is going to be the only way that things will get accomplished.

with this being said, I want to lose about 90 lbs. I know what your thinking, 90 POUNDS!!!!! well at least that's what I'm thinking!!
I know the amout of things I am going to have to learn and follow through with is going to be hard, but i hope that during this process i find a long lost ting called Motivation and Determination, that will become constants in my life.

Although SP is a great (and i mean a GREAT) site, It is only helpful to me if I'm on it. (I must admit if my computer could wake me up and force me to be on here for a few hours a day though, I wouldn't mind!)

I want to say if I complete a, b, and c, the answer will be an awesome bod, and great figure, but I don't think losing weight and learning how to live and LOVE being healthy is a cookie cutter recipe.
You'll be soon to learn that I struggle with self esteem issues. Its something that i've always struggled with. The biggest reason I am slowly starting to realize that I might not be as bad as i think is all thanks to my AMAZING boyfriend Evan. We've been together for almost two years (it'll be two on 3/4/12) and he is the largest reason for my happiness today.
I love him with all my heart, and plan on living a very long happy life with him. He is the kind of guy who loves my hair when i wake up in the morning, thinks I'm the most beautiful without makeup, and thinks all of my quirks are the cutest things ever. I am truely blessed for having him in my life, and he is one of the main reasons I want to love me more. I know that he loves me, but when he says 'you're beautiful' or 'you look great' I don't know what he's looking at!?! and that makes me upset. I want to look good for me, but I want to look good for Evan, because he deserves to have a bombshell of a girlfriend on his arm to showoff to all his friends!!!!

With that being said, my self-conscious self needs a B-I-G overhaul.

I've made alot of plans, and done alot of thinking in regards to working out times, what needs to go, and how I'm going to do this.

With each blog i want to write down events that are going on, and how I'm feeling about my journey.

I hope you enjoy this journey and reading about it!



SOOOOOO TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYY
is thanksgiving.
happy turkey day to all!!!

I'd like to start off by admitting that I ate way to much food than I should have at one sitting. It was good food, healthy veggies and turkey, but there is only so much health involved with eating if you overeat. I don't want this blog to talk about how 'I wish I did' or 'I should have done' but today was definetely that kind of a day. But I don't regret it as much as I should. My family means alot to me, and as they are getting older and older I am realizing that I need to spend more time with them. Everyone should spend more time with their families. Not because it is the right thing to do around the holiday season, but because you never know if next year is going to be the same, and that means alot to me.

I was at my fathers side of the family's thanksgiving today, and I will be at my mothers side on Saturday (bring on the prime rib!!)

Alot of the holiday season makes me realize just how much I depend on food for my happiness, and that's upsetting to me. As a college kid, I sometimes don't know if i have enough food to eat, let alone if its anything that i want, or if it's healthy. With that being said, I really want to try hard to at least control my portions. portion control is one big thing that i need to work on, probably the most, along with keeping my calorie range in check.


So I've ranted a lot today, and I need to do homework (yes, homework on thanksgiving break) I hope everyone has a very happy thanksgiving, and I'll be back soon!


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