Sunday, November 20, 2011
This is really how I feel! I have a great desire in life to be balanced and lately "balanced" is not where I live! In some ways things are good...I have a great menu going at work and we are in the full swing of things...very busy...and I am handling it. I have been feeling good about the time I get to spend with my kids...it can be quite crazy and often stressful when it comes to school activities but I get through it. I have even figured out a budget plan that will reduce our debt to 0 in just over a year that includes a savings plan to we can continue to travel.
These things are all great and yet...something is still quite askew... I get it all done but...you guessed it....no time for myself! i am up at 6:30 and out the door at 7:30 with the kids. I am at work and in uniform by 8:30 and go til 4. Then I pick up the kids by 4:30 and am home and dinner is on the table by 5:30. I do chores til 6:30 or so and then Quin and I do homework and reading til 7 and the kids are in bed by 7:30. I finish my chores by around 8 and then I sit...with a glazed look at the computer and try to figure out if I should just go to bed or if there is some fun thing I can do. Reading is hard because I get lost from the end of the line of words down to the next line due to my eye trouble. (I see the specialist tomorrow)
Sometimes I spark a little but I have been doing it less and my "Spark" has been dwindling. I really need to be tracking again and trying to get 30 minutes of exercise each night at 8. I was doing that each night until I got sick and now it has been months! I have had some weight gain. Probably more than some. I stopped getting on the scale at work. Monday I am going to face the music and step on that thing again.
Being on Spark really does help me and I do know that I have cut way back on my Spark time to make room for other things. I have been using the time during my coffee break at work to plan a different vacation for us this next summer. (Already? Yea...already. It has helped my brain to have something so fun to think about ...as well as our finances for me to know how much we need to save....I already bought the plane tickets! we land in Basel, Switzerland and fly out of Milan, Italy. I spent only 728 USD for the whole family!)
But I digress...I have gotten away from Spark and I think I need to come back. Aside from time, one other reason I got away from Spark is I found myself wanting to blog about some unpleasant things and then hesitating. I have overcome some obstacles in my life and normally I don't hardly give them a thought but they have been presenting themselves again lately (or rather bothering me again lately) and I worry about talking about them. Am I invading others privacy to write about them since they concern others? Will my friends who read wonder what is wrong with me? Oh...there are a whole bunch of other questions I have for myself...and what has happened is instead of blogging about it I don't blog. (One other reason is that when I have the time I am so darn tired I would rather shop for pj's for Liam online!)
I have decided to do three things to get things under control for ME again. I will log my food again and track my calories. I will set up an exercise plan for myself that works for me...even if it starts with gentle stretching for 30 minutes at night until I feel able to do more. Finally I will start blogging again. About what I want. I will not worry about what others will think, I will not worry about whether or not someone I know comes across it, I will just blog...for me...I think it helps me to "get things out". I need my balance back.
I will pull it together!