Saturday, November 19, 2011
When I had a goal of walking a quarter marathon, I walked.
When I had a goal of swimming from Alcatraz to the mainland (until it sold out and I missed out) I swam.
When I was headed toward my 20 year class reunion and hating the idea that I was soooo heavy, I lost weight.
It's strange. I set a goal, I work toward the goal and *gasp* I accomplish things. It's just astonishing. *eye roll*
It's time to reboot my reboot, which was totally hosed by my work getting in the way (it's hard to reboot when you don't have time even have time for adequate sleep). Time to get the show back on the road!
I'm not giving up. I'm not giving in. I may be up a few pounds, but in the immortal words of Lindsey Buckingham (I saw him live a few weeks ago) "I'm Never Going Back Again". It sounds better when he sings it than when I say it.
The point is that this is a marathon, not a sprint. A half marathon, a slow marathon, but a marathon kind of deal all the same.
I started this whole thing, mentally at least, about 13 months ago. At that time I was a dirty smoker. I couldn't swim more than 2 lengths at a time and 15-20 total. I weighed over 300 pounds. I was headed toward shopping at Omar the Tent Maker's Clothing Emporium. My self esteem was total crap. I felt like a failure as a female for my inability to get knocked up. On and on and on. You should have heard my internal monologue... actually, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
Anywho, I'm up a few pounds, but relative to this time last year, I'm seeing wins all around.
I did a quarter marathon this year. WIN. I couldn't do 3.2 mph for an entire hour before.
I can swim a mile without batting an eye and I've had to buy a new smaller suit. WINNNNNNNN.
I have tried yoga and Zumba and running and spinning and kickboxing.
I've learned that my skin and my hair and my mood are all improved by "eating clean."
With the exception of a lovely cigar last month, I'm smoke free and not quite irrationally pleased about it. Insanely pleased, but not irrationally. :)
Did I mention that I actually like exercising? Seriously. This is a stunning development and may result in some sort of "we interrupt this programming" kind of event. Seriously. I like to exercise. Whodathunkit? Check it: I miss exercise when I can't do it. Freakish, huh?
I've done some intensive internal work on how I talk to myself. A lot. It was harder than getting my large self on the treadmill at unholy hours, but I did it. I'm prouder of that than I am of the smaller pant size.
So as much as I am completely underwhelmed by my current stall and small gain, I'm pretty freaking overjoyed when I compare today with this time last year. (If you know me at all, you know that it can be really hard for me to set aside my overachiever ways and look at the bright side, so this is a major accomplishment.)
Digress, digress, digress.... as usual. Ooooh, shiny things.
I need goals, big ones. Little ones. Meaningful ones. Motivating goals. I need to have a goal that is important enough to me that when I think about it, I put down the fork. A goal that helps me say, "No thank you, I'd rather not have that delicious cupcake, sprinkled with cracktacular goodness of indescribable tonguejoy, I'd prefer to be thin."
So, here is a partial list for 2012, which I will need to add on to rather extensively:
5Ks. Lots of them. Warm ones, cold ones, fast ones, slow errrr, faster ones, lots of ones where I don't have to dodge people with strollers. 5ks for good causes. 5ks for silly reasons (we have a dead celebrity run around here somewhere).
I'd will jog/run an entire 5k in 2012 without having a massive heart attack and dying or wetting myself during the race.
Half marathon, I may not run/jog the whole thing, but I'm doing one. Preferably The Pig in Cincy. It's possible, Pig. (Slipping Princess Bride references into my writing whenever humanly possible isn't ADD, it's just who I am.)
Swim from Alcatraz to the mainland. I'd like to do the Sharkfest, but with school and such I'm going to take what I can get on whatever date I can get it.
Weight that starts with a 1.
Be able to do a yoga inversion. A cool one. One that makes me feel all yogini and such. A handstandy type one maybe. The kind of thing that makes new yoga people look at more experienced yoga people and think, "I could never do that."
I want my belly to be far smaller, so it quits getting in the way of yoga poses.
I intend to meet some Spark peeps, who may be disappointed that I'm not funny in person. Has anyone heard of a meetup for 2012?
My final goal is to fail miserably at all of my weight loss goals in 2012. My biggest goal is to gain 10 pounds in 2012. I plan to fail, and be bigger around than I have been in my entire life. I intent to be ginormous in 2012. I plan to get pregnant.
Anyone else looking forward to 2012 with some goal setting?