Saturday, November 19, 2011
The changes that come with weight loss , it amazes me when i compare where i am now, to where i was about 5-6 months ago.. i know deep down, i have such a long way to go still, although i try to focus on 10 lbs at a time so i don't get overwhelmed. Starting this journey at 315 lbs, i try not to make this about the weight loss (although that has been an awesome perk), but more about a journey of good health, happiness and finding balance..
Many years, i have been caught up in that vicious circle that holds one down, dwells on the negatives and obsesses things that hold me back from living a normal, enjoyable life. As i walk these steps each day and work on changes within as well as physical obvious changes in me, i am reminded of the girl i was merely 6 months ago, and the girl who lived that way for most of her life.. i don't miss that girl in the least, however i am developing a sincere thoughtful side of myself who not only wants changes for her, but for others i could or may inspire along the way..There are so many changes i am noticing about myself these days, some are obvious but most are not - and all of these changes are things i try and celebrate each day, as a means of motivation to keep going.. All of these noticeable changes are proving this journey MORE than worthwhile.. i need this, & i deserve this.. Completely.
The changes i am noticing in me so far:
- my clothes are getting baggy, of course, but i'm fitting in things i haven't fit in for years!
- my facial features, my face has slimmed down alot..
- i've gone down another bra size *yay*
- i can climb stairs without holding a rail and hauling myself up, i can literally just jog up the stairs now for a good work out..this is huge for me..and to run up stairs non stop even.
- Yesterday, i dressed up & actually looked in a mirror and felt "pretty" ..
- i can cross my legs, comfortably (sounds silly, but i couldnt)
- my breathing, when i am walking or exercising has changed dramatically
- my extreme thirst has totally gone away (i could never quench it before)
- i was taken off my blood pressure medication over a month ago now
- energy, energy, energy, i can't get over all of my energy..
- i worked three days in a row (12 hour shifts) and not once did i come home with sore feet or sore legs... i recognize alot of my aches & pains were weight related
- i'm a bundle of smiles everyday - my attitude is so much more positive, and i'm loving that change in me so much.
- my confidence, has grown so much.. i don't tolerate the kinds of people who used to bring me down..nor the bullying - i was bullied a lot.
- my desire to work hard at this journey, changes daily...the more i work at it, the stronger & more determined i get..
- i feel like i have a figure now, my daughter & her friends remark on that a lot..(i'm blushing, heh)
- i am much more aware of my environment when i have a plate of food in front of me, relaxing & enjoying my food a bite at a time are a must..and i can do it now.. food was such a part of my stress, with my eating disorder.
- i am accepting help, with my addiction & ED and accepting i can't do it alone.
- i am petit mal epileptic, and my symptoms are SO controllable now.. i don't take seizures, but i do get extreme dizzy spells , go in deep stares, etc.. i took myself off of medication and i can control my spells with a healthy diet, proper rest, exercise etc.. And it feels tremendous to NOT feel so sluggish and under the weather every single day.. in fact, i cant remember the last time i had a spell, because it's so rare now..(and mostly just if i'm really stressed, now).
Definitely a lot to be proud of!
Once i am in a healthy & happy place, myself and can take on more, i would love to be inspirational and help others.. i will never forget where i was & all the work i've had to do to get where i am.. i love that i am willing to help myself now - and i feel worthy of it!