Running in Place
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Put in another few miles on the treadmill tonight. Just trying to stay in shape for the Jingle All the Way 8K in just a few weeks. Although I haven't really been pushing -- particularly because I've been having trouble with dizzy spells lately -- my running is getting easier. Did 9.5 - 10 minute miles tonight, and it didn't feel hard at all.
I feel like I'm running in place in other areas of my life as well -- but unfortunately without the same level of progress or satisfaction. I feel like it's taking everything I have just to keep from falling further behind... seems like every case I have is blowing up at once, and I'm running from one crisis to the next, without really making progress, just putting on band-aids until I can "get back to it."
And, although it's a terrible time to be away from work, I'm still taking a week to go up and be with Mom and Dad over Thanksgiving. Dad won't really know I'm there, but Mom needs the break, and I feel like I owe it to Dad to stand by him, even if he's not fully aware that I'm there. Five months, and still not out of the hospital -- and unfortunately, it's unlikely he'll ever go home. I'd like to find some silver lining in all of this for us -- but I can't even be fully grateful he's still with us, given the amount of pain he's in. I'm expecting that they'll start pushing hospice -- and it's probably something we should seriously consider. I hate to give up hope on treatment, but he's been through so much, and there's so little hope that he'll ever get to a decent quality of life again. But on the other hand -- he's my Dad, and I want to give him every chance to make it. Just not sure what the right thing to do is. I hope that all of us as a family can figure it out.
Meanwhile, I'll have to keep running in place, and keep hoping for the best.