Thursday, November 17, 2011
Put in another few miles on the treadmill tonight. Just trying to stay in shape for the Jingle All the Way 8K in just a few weeks. Although I haven't really been pushing -- particularly because I've been having trouble with dizzy spells lately -- my running is getting easier. Did 9.5 - 10 minute miles tonight, and it didn't feel hard at all.
I feel like I'm running in place in other areas of my life as well -- but unfortunately without the same level of progress or satisfaction. I feel like it's taking everything I have just to keep from falling further behind... seems like every case I have is blowing up at once, and I'm running from one crisis to the next, without really making progress, just putting on band-aids until I can "get back to it."
And, although it's a terrible time to be away from work, I'm still taking a week to go up and be with Mom and Dad over Thanksgiving. Dad won't really know I'm there, but Mom needs the break, and I feel like I owe it to Dad to stand by him, even if he's not fully aware that I'm there. Five months, and still not out of the hospital -- and unfortunately, it's unlikely he'll ever go home. I'd like to find some silver lining in all of this for us -- but I can't even be fully grateful he's still with us, given the amount of pain he's in. I'm expecting that they'll start pushing hospice -- and it's probably something we should seriously consider. I hate to give up hope on treatment, but he's been through so much, and there's so little hope that he'll ever get to a decent quality of life again. But on the other hand -- he's my Dad, and I want to give him every chance to make it. Just not sure what the right thing to do is. I hope that all of us as a family can figure it out.
Meanwhile, I'll have to keep running in place, and keep hoping for the best.