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    CIRCE_NOT_XL   20,062
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Talking to my ass

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Today I went walking/jogging again but I did not go willingly. My ass made me do it.

Me: It is cold outside! I do not want to go out and walk 2.2 miles in this chilly wind!

My ass: Sure, okay, let's sit around and I'll keep you warm with my tremendous fat deposits!

Me: Big Fat Ass, that does not make me feel better!

Ass: Well, it shouldn't.

Me: *consideringly* ...but I really don't want to go out in the chilly November-in-Wisconsin wind, either.

Thighs: We can keep you warm by rubbing together as you walk!

Me: Thunder thighs, this does not make me feel better either!

Ass: Uh, duh? You want to feel better? Get off of me and let's get outside where I can jiggle as you run.

Me: *sullenly pulling on sweats*

Belly: Yeah! I want to bounce around flabbily and I'm not doin' it sitting around here with Big Fat Ass and Thunder Thighs!

Me: *grumpy* I'm going, I'm going, but...

Ass: Yeah, butt all right. Now get out there, fat girl, and run!

Me: *putting on shoes* I will not miss you when you are gone, Big Fat Ass.

Ass: I won't miss you either. Now get out there!

Me: *2.2 miles in 37 minutes later* Yeah! That was great and I feel good!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEZZIEJAMES 11/18/2011 1:33PM

    *giggle* Way to go!!!!
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HEYBUTT 11/17/2011 3:36PM

    Hilarious!

It's nice that your fat is so encouraging (mine's so lazy and just wants to watch t.v.)

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