Monday, November 14, 2011
I am not talking about this yet, but really felt I had to blog about this. I had been not feeling that great, more than just my cold. I had been tired really tired, and had been having leg cramps, and bloating, and my hair started falling out. I attributed this all to not getting enough protein, and an possible prementral symptoms. So I looked up hairloss online, and it said, most comman reason for hairloss is pregnancy. Now I had had kinda a thought at the back of my mind that there was a small possibility, or this. The month before, I had takena test, as a precation before starting a new medication. Now when I took the test some urine splashed on the little window, so I had no results, but not really worried about it, I didn't take the other test. But I had another test, so after the hairloss thing, I thought, humm I better take one again. So I did, and it was positive right away. So I called my husband. He was dumbfounded. I told him, this does not mean we are having a baby. It just means that an egg has been fertiliazed. So Sunday, I stayed home from church. I had a little bit of a cold, and didn't want it to spread. When John came home, we had a little lunch and stoped at the store and bought, a twin pack of pregnancy tests. I took the first one, and it was positive almost immediatly. But then, I worried, beacuse, I did it with the cup, (after the splash, I thought it would be safer) and I had dipped it longer than the 5 seconds, so I was afraid that it was invalid. The instructions, say may not be valid if you dip it longer or shorter. Therefore I repeated the test after, drinking some more water. This time, I only dipped it in the urine for five seconds, and it too showed a positive result right away. So now I know, I really am pregnant. However, I do not know, if I will be having a baby. Two years ago, my husband and I were surprised by a pregnancy, right after Christmas, we did five home tests, went to our doctors office. Were we had a faint positive. So all they told me to do, was to schedule an appointment with an obgyn. Which was frustrating, beacuse we did not have a doc at that time. So it was a hassle. So I made an appointment for several weeks ahead. Then I had a terriable flu, and was reading, my pregnancy book, and I realized, that the bleeding I had been having, was a miscarriage. It was really tough. I ended up having, blood test after blood test, my hormone levels would not go down. I had to schedule a follow up appointment with an OBGYN, and the guy basicly treated me like he had no Idea why I was there. Like I was bothering him! I told him, the nurses were hounding me, and told me it was very important to have this appointment. The Doctor also told me, that I probally would never get pregnant again. Beacuse I have polycycstic ovaries. Which obviously is wrong, beacuse, here I am two years later pregnant again. However, this time, I do not have insurance, so I am terrified. The low cost clinic, I had been going to told me, I could come for a urine test, but, that they do not treat pregnant women. They siad they could help me, fill out paper work to get babger care, but unfortunatly that sounds like a long process. According to my reasearch online, that I should probaly be taking hormones to ensure, I don't miscarry. But that many women, who are morbidly obese, will have miscarriages, or children with birth defects. SO needless to say, I am terrified. I have been dieting, and exercising, and had hoped that in the next couple years, maybe, maybe, I would get pregnant again. I actually was waiting for my period to start so, I could go on the pill, to help my hormones, get healthy, so I could in the future get pregnant. Part of me, says Praise God, my prayers could be answered. Another part of me says, I have worked hard, to get my health, and begin, my weightloss. I could be setting my husband and myself up, to heartbreak! We could loose this pregnancy, anytime, we could have a baby born with birth defects... etc. I have several family memebers, who have PCOS and are morbidly obese, and have had several healthy children..... but I can't talk to them about, it beacuse it is entirely too early to tell anyone about it. I guess the best thing, I can do, is take the rine test at the clinic, and get some idea, what I will need to see a doctor.