Sunday, November 13, 2011
Something is wrong with my eyes.... or perhaps with my mirror, but either way, it is a strange phenomenon. Not only is it strange, it is very discouraging to me.
When I look in the mirror, I see a thinner me. Not a perfect me, by any means. I see definition in my stomach and my thighs...... even at the gym, when I look in the mirror during strength training - I see such improvement.
Today, just a few moments after my morning mirror inspection, I decided to document this moment in photos, and my husband begins snapping away, as I stand in my underwear (just as I was while gazing into the mirror). Snap, front view, snap, side view, snap, arms raised, snap, arms by my sides.
I'm not even kidding when I tell you the pictures are horrible!! I am horrified. I see so many rolls of fat between my boobs and my knees that I want to cry. I look back into the mirror, and the view has completely changed..... what is wrong with me? Am I just rationalizing my fat away, and convincing myself to see something other than what is really there?
I am not giving up, by any means, but I really do have a long long way to go. And now I wonder if I can trust my own mirror --- or the photos.
This too shall pass, but I remain disgusted.