Sunday, November 13, 2011
I gained 2.2 lbs this week.
Now, before you respond with hugs and well-intended comments that it could be water weight, etc., let me assure you that those evil 2.2. lbs are indeed FAT.
How do I know this? Because I've been eating like a hog all week.
Yes, it's true. I set my November goals, one of which was to NOT buy and eat a candy bar every day. This was a challenging goal for me, believe it or not. Last night ICAMETHISCLOSE to stopping at Walgreen's under the pretense of picking up photos, all the while knowing that I really wanted a candy bar. I didn't stop, but it was REALLY tough not to pull into the left turn lane.
Unfortunately, I replaced my candy bar calories with my guilty pleasure...cookie dough. There, I've said it. It's now out there for the whole world to see. I'm a closet cookie dough eater. I'm not proud of it. Over the years I've mastered the art of mixing up just enough cookie dough (sans raw eggs) to satisfy my after-a-meal sweet tooth. I made the mistake this week of buying Smart Balance instead of butter because 1) I had a coupon and 2) I figured it was healthier for me. Too bad it mixes more easily into the cookie dough batter.
Now, in reviewing this humiliating habit of mine, I've come to the realization that I only mix up cookie dough and eat it when THERE'S NOTHING ELSE IN THE HOUSE! Which has been the past two weeks. Literally, there is nothing in the house but cookie dough ingredients, uncooked rice, mayonnaise, defrosted cranberries which I think may now be moldy, and some funky looking leftovers in the fridge.
Another November goal of mine was to schedule grocery days and actually go. I made that goal on November 1st. I still haven't gone grocery shopping, and it is now November 13th. There is definitely a correlation between the amount of JUNK I eat and whether or not there is healthy food in the house. I call it The Sustenance Correlation (ala "The Big Bang Theory").
I don't know why I have such a problem with getting groceries. I really hate it. It's not the actual shopping that's a problem...well, maybe it is in part...it's the figuring out what to get that I hate. Planning the meals (my daughter has an eating disorder and is very limited in her food choices), finding coupons, and actually getting out the door can be really hard for me. It sounds silly even to me when I write this, but it's a fact. And the less healthy food I have in the house, the more stressed I feel because I know I have to get groceries. The more I procrastinate. The more cookie dough I eat. The more weight I gain.
It's going to be tough, but today I am DETERMINED to go get groceries. Baby steps. First step -- take the cookbooks out of the cabinet and pick four healthy recipes to make this week.