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The Sustenance Correlation

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I gained 2.2 lbs this week.

Now, before you respond with hugs and well-intended comments that it could be water weight, etc., let me assure you that those evil 2.2. lbs are indeed FAT.

How do I know this? Because I've been eating like a hog all week.

Yes, it's true. I set my November goals, one of which was to NOT buy and eat a candy bar every day. This was a challenging goal for me, believe it or not. Last night ICAMETHISCLOSE to stopping at Walgreen's under the pretense of picking up photos, all the while knowing that I really wanted a candy bar. I didn't stop, but it was REALLY tough not to pull into the left turn lane.

Unfortunately, I replaced my candy bar calories with my guilty pleasure...cookie dough. There, I've said it. It's now out there for the whole world to see. I'm a closet cookie dough eater. I'm not proud of it. Over the years I've mastered the art of mixing up just enough cookie dough (sans raw eggs) to satisfy my after-a-meal sweet tooth. I made the mistake this week of buying Smart Balance instead of butter because 1) I had a coupon and 2) I figured it was healthier for me. Too bad it mixes more easily into the cookie dough batter.

Now, in reviewing this humiliating habit of mine, I've come to the realization that I only mix up cookie dough and eat it when THERE'S NOTHING ELSE IN THE HOUSE! Which has been the past two weeks. Literally, there is nothing in the house but cookie dough ingredients, uncooked rice, mayonnaise, defrosted cranberries which I think may now be moldy, and some funky looking leftovers in the fridge.

Another November goal of mine was to schedule grocery days and actually go. I made that goal on November 1st. I still haven't gone grocery shopping, and it is now November 13th. There is definitely a correlation between the amount of JUNK I eat and whether or not there is healthy food in the house. I call it The Sustenance Correlation (ala "The Big Bang Theory").

I don't know why I have such a problem with getting groceries. I really hate it. It's not the actual shopping that's a problem...well, maybe it is in's the figuring out what to get that I hate. Planning the meals (my daughter has an eating disorder and is very limited in her food choices), finding coupons, and actually getting out the door can be really hard for me. It sounds silly even to me when I write this, but it's a fact. And the less healthy food I have in the house, the more stressed I feel because I know I have to get groceries. The more I procrastinate. The more cookie dough I eat. The more weight I gain.

It's going to be tough, but today I am DETERMINED to go get groceries. Baby steps. First step -- take the cookbooks out of the cabinet and pick four healthy recipes to make this week.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry to say this, but I think that part of your problem is depression. Knowing that there are things to do for your example, groceries. Knowing that you have to do something good, yet there is a procrastination voice in the back of your head making you sit it out.

    I know what you mean. I myself have been avoiding 'getting out there'. I have had a sick husband and then a sick daughter. I have been going and going and going. While I am doing all of that, I'm no longer procrastinating. No more thinking of myself or what others think of me in public. Just go and get it done.

    It's a mindset.

    I had no choice.

    I actually felt better about it once it was done.

    You can do this.

    Put away the cookie dough and get out there. Bite that bullet and go.

    You'll feel better about yourself when it's all done.


    2287 days ago
    You just took the first step. You admitted your problem. Then you took the second step. You came up with a way to change the behavior. Now, take the third step and follow through.

    I am still going to say I wish I could hug you because we are so much alike. I always have told people - I don't have an eating problem because I don't hide my eating. I was totally lying to myself and to friends. I not only ate too much in front of others but I ate "closet" type eating too. I also would subsitute something unhealthy for another unhealthy item I was trying to give up.

    So Kudos to you for taking these steps! They are in the right direction on your journey:) Keep on trecking my friend!
    2288 days ago
    Join the club, I do not like grocery shopping either. But there are always must haves, I am always stocked with chicken breast that I can thaw and throw on the grill - takes 5 minutes to cook. Always have greens (mixed or spinach), I even snack on these like popcorn. Must have bananas for my oatmeal every morning, and any other fruit that is in season. But bananas and apples can always be found in my home. Protein powder, ground flax meal for shakes, yogurt, cottage cheese and pineapple for the times I do not want to cook. Once you make up your mind what you would enjoy (other than the candy bar), bite the bullet, put your head down and just buy the fruits, vegetables, eggs, meat (if you eat it). Get acquainted with your George Foreman grill and slow cooker. It takes out a lot of the hesitation.
    You can do it!! Once you recognize the problem, you can conquer it! Go Girl!
    2288 days ago
    I don't know if this will help, but here's a blog I wrote about how I got my grocery shopping down to every two weeks. The benefit of doing it (besides saving time from going to the store) is that I pretty much always have healthy stuff in the house to eat. And since I also batch cook every weekend or every other weekend, there's usually prepared meals ready to go that can just get nuked in the fridge.


    As for the cookie dough, I'm proud of you for admitting it. It's so hard to be truthful with ourselves about that stuff, let alone be truthful with others. So the next step is to figure out a plan to stop eating it. It may be that you just need to get it out of your house forever; it may be that this is currently on a banned list of foods. I don't know; only you can answer that.

    But remember that if you can just get through a couple weeks without it, focusing on healthy eating, the craving will diminish or disappear. Good luck.
    2288 days ago
    Recognizing the problem, and telling others about it is a great first step to acting to fix the problem. Sounds like you have a plan- 4 healthy meals this week. I say make enough so that 4 turns into 8! You can always re-heat for a healthy lunch. Or pack a great healthy lunch for your new job.(Beware of mall food- that's a huge trap!)
    Great job not pulling in to walgreens for the candy bar, that's a huge first step!
    Know you are not alone in your hidden weakness of cookie dough. I am totally addicted to McDonald's ice cream cones, and will often have up to 4 in a given week. It's something I need to work on. (even though they are only 150 calories, and I always make sure I track them for the day and stay with in range). I find my self getting stressed out and then looking for the nearest McDonalds for a cone. I need to learn not to turn to this when I am stressed or feel I deserve a reward.

    Post your November goals on the fridge and look at them OFTEN! You still have more than 1/2 a month left to turn things to the good. You are also training for a turkey trot! Keep you eyes set on what you made as a goal! Break your monthly goals into small daily goals. Write a to-do list for each day that includes things you need to do each day to work toward you goal. Breaking it up into daily segments may not make it sound so hard. Good luck, we are all here if you need us!
    2288 days ago
    Aahhh, to realize how we sabotage ourselves! It can be that A-Ha moment.
    I don't do big grocery store outings anymore. I don't like to try to fill a cart- so I pick up some veggies here and some dairy at the next place. Maybe the bread gets bought a few days later.

    I'm like a grazing animal instead of the Grocery Store queen.
    2288 days ago
    Don't make excuses for yourself. This is something that can be easily remedied, and STOP buying cookie dough ingredients.
    2288 days ago
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